Hair
For those of us who watch Red Table Talk, it comes as no surprise that alopecia affects a good proportion of black American women. We might speculate on the cause of this but it would be nothing but conjecture at this point.
We can however, see the results.
Black American women and men are very sensitive about their hair. So much so that alopecia is considered to be a disability. There is so much politics that goes into it that it is almost impossible for anyone without the lived experience to understand. I certainly do not.
I do remember Wendy Williams talking about how a black woman should NEVER wear her natural hair on the red carpet, months before Lupita Nyong'o did it and somehow changed the game. (nobody talks about that little snippet).
I do remember Fashion Police making fun of Zendaya when she dared to walk the red carpet in faux locs. There was a lot of apologizing afterwards, allegations of racism, the Osborn girl leaving the show, etc.
So black hair is a sensitive topic. Chris Rock himself did a documentary named 'Good Hair' about it all. That's number one.
Infidelity
Now I need you to stop paying attention to the tabloids and start listening to people when they speak. Yes, both Will and Jada allowed other people into their marriage during a period of time when they were unhappy. Both of them.
But somehow, Jada gets blamed for everything. The misogynoir is real. Will is the victim, Jada is the witch.
Now I want you to imagine if you really care for this woman and you see her, day in day out, from her Instagram comments to show hosts on TV and on the red carpet, ragging on Jada only. Everyone looks at them and sees Jada as the villain.
As women always are.
How long can you live with that, day in day out, before you crack?
Oscars and Comedians
The last Oscars I really enjoyed was the one hosted by Ellen. People say that she's mean but she was kind to everyone that night. Sure she made jokes, but they were not laughing at people, but laughing with them.
Too often, people's idea of a joke is to punch down on somebody for something they can't help. Oh look at the fat lard! ha ha ha. Look at the baldy, Hey GI Jane!
It's tired. It's played out. It's not funny.
Dave Chapelle making fun of trans people in his netflix special wasn't funny.
Chris Rock making fun of Jada's lack of hair wasn't funny.
Did it deserve a bitch slap? Maybe. In this context, it's made us all take a pause and ask ourselves what we're willing to tolerate when it comes to being the 'butt' of people's jokes. A joke does not have to be mean spirited to be funny. That's what nobody seems to understand.
Well, Will did something to Chris and twitter reacted. The nature of the reactions were very telling. We had the virtue signaling white men on there immediately revert to their native form. Judd Apatow called Will Smith a potential murderer. Doug Ellin and Richard Marx called him narcissistic. Michael Rosenbaum 'used to love him' until that moment. The mandingo energy was strong in those white streets.
Very telling.
Very very telling.
Then you have the D-list comedians who were like, 'you can't attack us, it's bad form'. Honey, if your jokes are insulting people, maybe you need to rethink instead of hiding behind 'bad form' whatever that is.
Black twitter was also divided. You have the "You can't misbehave in front of white people crowd," - DB Woodside and Ida B. Wells I'm looking at you. and then there were the, 'bUt ITs assAUlt' crowd like we don't see you on social media every day grabbing each other's faces and beating each other with closed fists, the domestic violence that is tolerated quietly until someone dies, the school shootings, racists of all stripes beating up people for being a certain color. The hypocrisy of the 'pretends to be shocked' crowd is the worst.
Then there were the defenders, mostly women I think, who completely understood what Will was doing.
His job.
Being the protector, the lion that will sit back until called to defend what's theirs. Too many times, women have been thrown to the wolves and their men sit back and allow them to be devoured.
Will mentioned his mother in his acceptance speech. When he was a child, his father beat his mother and he froze. He blamed himself all this time for not helping her. When he saw a neighbor go into a child predator's house, he did nothing. He didn't call for help. He hid. These things have stayed with him. They've traumatized him. So you think he was going to freeze again? To let yet another woman in his care be attacked while he says nothing?
Does nothing?
Nah.
He did what he had to do, for his soul.
And so, for him, it was the right thing to do, at the right time, regardless of our discomfort or our opinions.
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