Welcome to Book Launch Day!

Cinderella By Any Other Name goes live today. Happy Launch Day!

I'm dedicating this launch day to Rep. Ilhan Omar who is a former Somali refugee and now a US congresswoman who is receiving a lot of flack this week for calling out Israel. I guess this is how South Africa was viewed in the eighties by the world huh? Where the oppressed were the terrorists and the oppressors were the good guys. And to say otherwise is apparently - in this case - antisemitic.
I don't care, call me antisemitic if you like. Israel is absolutely, completely, no two sides about it, in the wrong.
Palestine is experiencing apartheid. And Rep. Omar is being bullied into resigning over simply pointing it out. Its racism is what it is. It's racism and prejudice because she's an African and a Muslim. Why do people allow this bullshit to continue?
Anyway, back to the book launch.

Do you fancy a Muslim, Arranged Marriage, Coming of Age story that is not a romance. I mean sure there is some sex - married people sex - but its not really meant to titillate you. I'd like to know how many of you can relate but I know you won't say so if you do. Married people keep their secrets right? Well, maybe you can discuss it among yourselves in your married people book clubs.

I love to spark conversation, especially controversial conversation but one thing I've realized over the years is that very few people are willing to have sincere and honest discussions about the hard truths right? So we're all living in our little pods and thinking, "this is only happening to me." and its such a huge revelation to realize that other people go through the same things too.
Last month when I was ovulating, I had the most horrible back pain. I couldn't even straighten up. And I googled ovulation back pain on the internet to see what could be done about it. At the end of one of the articles I read was the phrase: "Another reason to look forward to menopause."
I almost collapsed and died right there because all this time I've been thinking I'm the only weirdo on the planet looking forward to menopause. Yep I can't wait for the day I stop menstruating. And I thought I was the most progressive thinker in the universe who didn't think that somehow menopause was the end of womanhood.
That article opened my eyes. Probably every single being who menstruates looks forward to menopause but MEN assume that it's a horrible thing because many of them see us as life support systems for vaginas. So we must be heartbroken not to be able to have these 'womanly functions' that indicate we can have their babies. It all makes sense now.

So anyway, shout out to you all if you can relate to any part of this book. If anything rings authentically true to your life. I'd love to talk to you about it. I'm all about that life. So click on the link, cop your copy and let's get this party started.
The price goes up after today.

You Had Me At Hello...Why Though?

A long time ago when I was but a babe in the woods, the man who would eventually sire my child gave me this book about relationships.
Ever since Jerry Maguire yelled, 'Show Me the Money!' people, especially women, have been looking for the partner who's gonna say, "You Complete Me."

That book though, opened my eyes to the fact that nobody can complete you except yourself and getting into a committed relationship without being complete is dooming it to failure.
The way the book put it is, we are all circles, but most of us are broken and so our circles are incomplete. As long as we have not 'completed our circle' we have no business trying to join our lives with anyone else's.
Once the circle is complete, and we find someone whose circle is also complete, we can form fully functional relationships.
The very essence of #relationshipgoals

In real life though, that's not what happens is it? People are too busy not wanting to be alone; satisfying their parents' need to see them married; wanting a constant sex partner; looking for the social prestige of having a spouse; looking for a family to 'love them'; gold-digging...whatever it is, people get married for the wrong reasons every day.
I don't think the problem is so much that they marry for the wrong reasons as they lie to themselves about their reasons. The foundation of the relationship is therefore made of quicksand.
In Nadia and Kareem's defense, at least they went into this marriage with absolutely no illusions as to why it was happening.
I wonder if it helped.
You tell me.

The Motivation Behind Cinderella By Any Other Name

2019 is the year of realizing stuff.
I just wanted to write that because it's such a faux airhead thing to say.
I've been realizing stuff for quite a while. Since at least 2016. But lately, it's been all about me and the things I've been taking for granted which are actually kind of interesting.
For example, my body. In my mind, I have always thought that I take relatively good care of my body because I at least think about exercising, don't eat that much junk food and just generally try to eat my vegetables.

The truth is, I eat for something to do, sometimes, even when I am not the least bit hungry. I eat if I feel tired or sick because I imagine that its just my energy flagging and I need to fuel the engine. I drink way too much tea.
So this year, I'm thinking first.
I look at the food on my plate and ask myself, "Is this too much? If I halve this food, will I still be satisfied?"
Nine times out of ten, the answer is yes.
It's about control you see. For a large part of my life, I felt like I had no control over any aspect of it. I was in reactive mode.
Things happened to me, and I reacted to them. Nine times out of ten, it ended badly - for me.
In my forty plus years of living, I have never been the one to choose a boyfriend. They always chose me. I took whatever job was offered, whether it was in pharmacy or freelance. There was no feeling of "I choose this."
The only things I feel I ever chose were:
1. To keep my baby.

2. To write stories.
I didn't realize how much I was letting life happen to me until probably last year.
I think that this happens to a lot of people. We are spectators in our own lives...
Nadia is an extreme example of that.
Things happen to her, and she feels like she's a prisoner in her own life. If it ain't one thing, it's another. How does she navigate her way through and does she find herself in the end?
I love Nadia, I relate to her story, I really hope you will too.
You'll let me know on Valentine's Day, won't you?
Cinderella By Any Other Name is Available for Preorder Now. Go on, click on the link.