Does Your Writing Spark Joy?

Good morning! I'm so energetic today after sleeping for ten hours last night. The night before that, I slept for one hour. I think the resultant spike in endorphins or whatever (a very technical term) has led to awakening of a further 10% of my brain.
It's science.
So I have been getting an awful lot of comments on my new chapter of my Mombasa Raha Malec fanfiction. (If this sentence is gibberish to you, I apologise. If you look at the top of this page, you will see a link to 'fan fiction' which will lead you to my home page where you can scroll down and see a story labeled "Mombasa Raha" which is an Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane story).

The reason I think I am getting all these comments is because I left a note on my last chapter in the hopes of sparking conversation on the whys and wherefores of leaving kudos, comments and author expectation of the same.
I think maybe because of the age and/or mindset of both fanfic readers, what I got instead of discourse was an avalanche of compliments/reassurances. I can't blame readers for misunderstanding my intentions. I've seen too many posts on all my social media feeds from writers begging for comments on their fics, reassurance that people 'like' their stories...I can't relate.
The reason I even posted the note was because of a tumblr post I read in which writers were complaining that "only" 20% of fanfic readers leave kudos, even less leave comments.
Now for a seasoned indie novel writer this complaint is laughable because we're lucky if we get 1% of readers writing reviews am I right?

However, I also don't blame them for misunderstanding my intentions because most writers don't seem to write because it sparks joy in themselves but seemingly for the attention. I cannot count the number of posts from writers, both indie, traditional and fan fiction, complaining about how much attention their books are not getting.
It's such a sense of entitlement.
I'm not sure where it comes from. Who told y'all that just because you wrote something that people are obligated to read it? Y'all better be grateful for that 20% leaving kudos. Nobody is under contract to leave you even one.

Why do we write?
Personally, when it comes to fan fiction, I began writing for my own entertainment, was vastly surprised when people started reading it. Was even more floored when people started asking for updates, and was flabbergasted by the following I garnered. That was on tumblr and my first fan fic was Chrianna.
It gave me the confidence to know that my writing was good enough to share with the world, but I would have continued writing anyway, whether or not my audience found me because I was and still do write, for me.
I write stories that I enjoy reading. I do not need to be 'reassured' about the epicness of my writing although I do appreciate your appreciation. I know my shit is good. I don't really understand writers who go about slagging their own writing. Is it a play for pity buys?

("Oh no no no, you're writing isn't really horrible. See? I bought your book! And I'm even gonna read it. See, I left you a five star review. Now stop crying please?")
I don't get it. It's not proud or boastful to know that you write well. Each one of us has at least one thing that we're good at in this life. For me, this thing is playing with words and making them sing to me. These are just facts.
So, if you're writing for any other reason than you want to, then stop. Life is too short. Go and find something else that you truly enjoy doing. Maybe like leaving kudos.

But if you truly believe in your writing, then stop the negative self-talk. It serves no purpose apart from making you feel bad about yourself and that is no good for your mental health, or your work ethic.
I slept for one hour the night because I had to finish up an assignment. Trust I would not have been able to do it without the total belief that I was doing what I was supposed to, and doing it well. According to Maya Angelou, that is the very definition of success.
Have a successful day, won't you?

Its a F U W And We Are Just Trying to Live In It

Yesterday, somebody attacked Jussie Smollett also known as Jamal from Empire because he's gay and black. Thanks to Donald Trump, prejudiced people think they can act without consequences. They put a noose around his neck and called him racial and homophobic slurs.
When people do such a thing as put a noose around your neck, they aren't just being hateful. They want to break your spirit; to remove from you the very concept of ever being safe again.
I follow Jussie on Instagram, and he is just the bubbliest, happiest, gay light I have ever seen. Someone saw that light and thought, "I need to provide a bushel and make him shove his light right under it so it never illuminates anyone ever again."

I worry that after this, Jussie will lose that lightness of spirit that defines him. That, to me, is the saddest thing about this attack.
His physical injuries might heal, but how do you get over being reduced to a thing someone wants to hang up from a tree? These are the same people crying a river for dogs in China. But humans in America are fair game.
But hatred and prejudice is not just an American thing.
A few weeks ago, Kenya experienced another terrorist attack, and Al Shabaab took the blame. Of course the very next day a member of parliament was saying that "Somalis should go back home." Thankfully, that voice didn't become a chorus. Thankfully, Kenyans are a cynical lot who are not so simple-minded that they believe getting rid of an entire sub sector of people will solve terrorism. Somali refugees are not to blame for terrorism. Porous borders, corruption and poverty are.
When I wrote Cinderella by Any Other Name, I wasn't specifically looking to humanize Somali refugees or Muslims.

I love Muslims though.
I lived with them in Mombasa and they are just some of the most peaceful, generous and safe people I have ever lived among. Furthermore, I have never been sexually harassed by a Muslim man. I am a creature of habit and I tend to go to the same shops, fast food places, Mpesa agents, use the same boda boda guys and shop in the same kiosk. All the places I frequent where a man regularly works, I have been hit on at least once, as if me coming there more than once is some kind of signal that I'm interested.
Except for the Muslims.
My Muslim Somali Mpesa agent greets me politely every time, we transact and then he says thank you, I say thank you, he says you're welcome, and I smile and leave.
Every time.
He hasn't yet made some smarmy comment implying that I might be interested in him.
I feel safe with him. When I smile at him, I don't hold back out of fear that it might be misconstrued.
So yeah, making Nadia and her family Muslims felt right but also I haven't heard of any Christian Somali refugees.

This is not a political book.
This is not a social commentary.
But both of those things are part and parcel of the fabric of life and if anyone reading this book can look up and see a human being instead of a 'Muslim' or a 'Somali' when they look around them, that is a beautiful side effect of expanding your mind with stories that are out of your sphere of comfort.
So here, take my hand, journey with me.
If you're a Somali, a Muslim, a refugee or a woman reading Cinderella By Any Other Name, I would love to know if I got it right or I got it phenomenally, horribly, wrong.

Igniting the Creative Spark

Hello Russia, how are you doing?
I was just checking out my google analytics and y'all are number one reading my blog...this week. Also Kenya fell out of the top five countries for the first time in a while.
What?
Y'all can't relate to me anymore?
You don't care about my google analytics. Let's get on with some pontificating, edutaining, exposition from your favorite neighborhood opinionated writer/author/blogger.
That's me in case you were wondering.
And yes, I am your favorite.
*does not insert Kanye gif here because he's cancelled*

In my last post, I shared with you my admiration and gratitude for Dirty Computer and this week I want to tell you how much my life has changed because of one album.
So a day or two after I watched the video, I went to replenish my refrigerator following my son's departure for school. I was kinda hungry when I went to the supermarket and what that usually means for me is that I will buy myself some chips and chicken for lunch at the local chips shop. My body doesn't really like fast food tbh. I tend to er...release the hostages really fast following such a meal and they tend to be rather loose. Meaning my body ain't trying to digest any of it. But I still go ahead and do it because chips.
However, New and Improved, Body Appreciating Me was like, "Noup. Not today Satan. I'm gonna go home and eat something nice and nutritious."
I'm not saying chips and chicken isn't a nutritious meal. I read something the other day saying potatoes have a very high nutritional value. (I was so happy y'all...) but how it's cooked matters. If you want to enjoy a nice chicken and chips meal, make it yourself.
But I digress.
My point is, I wasn't tempted by fast food because being in love with my body means I want what's best for it. And don't misunderstand. This isn't about body image/positivity or 'staying fit and healthy' like the celebrities like to pretend they're doing when they just wanna be thin. Genevieve Padalecki, I'm looking at you. It's about wanting your body to be happy because you love it. Just like you want your partner or your child or your friend or your sister to be happy because you love them.
It turns out the best motivation to "stay fit and healthy" is to be in love...with yourself.

What the fuck, does that have to do with igniting creativity you ask?
Everything.
What inspires you?
What motivates you?
What even puts you in the head space to be inspired and motivated.
I'll tell you what doesn't.
Feeling miserable.
Feeling depressed.
Feeling tired.
Feeling ill.
I've been feeling all these things at one time or another this whole year. My body has been letting me down, my mind has been clouded. Ask my fanfic fans if you don't believe me. They are so patiently waiting for me to update while all I can do is slog through my paid work and hope it will do.
Hope it will do.
I'm not a 'I hope it will do' type of person. I like my creations to be epic whether or not they have my name on them. I have standards people. So I haven't been updating my fan fiction because they would not live up to my standards.
Until this week though.
Yeah, if you're interested in fanfic, click on the link and head over to AO3; got some new stuff on there.
The creative spark is ignited by being in proximity to creations that make me feel good about myself; that make me take another look at me and go like, "Hey. How you doin?"
I been looking at myself like Joey Tribiani looked at women. Last Sunday I wrote 7500 epic words like a joke. No strain, no effort, just finger flying over the keys. The client wants to kiss my ass, that story is so good.
So yeah my fingers are sparking, my brain cells are awake and alive. Yeah I'm still sick. Yeah my arm still hurts like a motherfucker sometimes. But it doesn't matter. It's all just details now. Let's get creating!

Another interesting side effect of being set free to be the best me I can be is that I don't have time for nonsense. You notice I haven't said anything about Kanye when normally I'd be all over that shit? It's because I don't care. Kanye's issues are personal and he wants to make them global and it's up to us not to let him. I told y'all his behavior is the result of hurt feelings and he confirmed it in the Charlemagne interview. I think it's an only child syndrome. They really do think they're the center of the universe. But the rest of us don't have to make it personal. We can just ignore him and focus on creative rather than destructive energy.
And there is so much creative energy out there right now. It's weird that living under oppression seems to be the fuel for creation of epic art in all it's forms. I'm just trying to do my best to add to all the good art in existence.
I see people in my writer's groups say things like they read someone else's work and it was so good it demoralized them.
Bitch what?
Those who came before are a source of inspiration, a challenge for you to put your best foot forward and match or exceed what has come before you. If it's a reason for you to turn away from your own art, then maybe you're in it for the wrong reasons. I can't wait for everyone to discover the epicness that is my stories but that's not why I write.
I write because I enjoy it. It gives me joy and satisfaction to take a story from mere concept to published novel. To see other people enjoy it, be inspired by it, take something from it that makes their lives better...
That's the icing on the cake.