And It All Came Pouring Out

Listening to 'oldies' music and reading my old posts. I notice that I have a tendency to not finish my thoughts on a subject. this could be because;
a. my brain runs faster than my hands ever could.
b. I have ADD
c. I don't read through my work when I'm done.
d. All of the above.
e. None of the above.

Also it's raining.

I ran across this absolute gem about Prince that I absolutely have to share with you.

as seen on instagram

It's not why I admire Prince...that he did things for others. It's inspiring, don't get me wrong; but we didn't know about these things until after he was dead. But it explains his music, his lyrics; the low down preaching that he did...he had a good heart and that leaked into the things that he did. I'm glad we were alive at the same time.
I was thinking that it was ironic that for a lot of the music I listen to now, I didn't know the artist when they were alive. Bob Marley in particular comes to mind. I don't remember him. He died when I was maybe six? The people who listen to his music now were mostly not born when he died. His music endures. Prince's music will endure. Good things do that; true things.

But now that brings me to William Shakespeare. Like seriously people, why does he endure? Is it because you don't get what he's trying to say half the time? We still trying to figure him out? Because Romeo and Juliet? Is it their age? The fact that the whole double suicide thing was completely pointless? The failures of communication breakdown? You just can't predict what will stick. What if Harry Potter fades out of the collective consciousness after the demise of this generation? What if the books don't endure but the movies do!!! You just can't tell with these things. There is no rhyme or reason.
I was talking about Prince...
There was this episode of +Supernatural this season which was legit Romeo and Juliet the wincest edition. It was so epic. I feel like every episode this season has been that. I'm calling it. Best overall season of Supernatural ever. Every episode has brought it. But...I have a separate blog for that so let's get back to organised rambling.

random pic of a lovely room

I read this article the other day where the American Red Cross raised half a billion dollars to rebuild homes in Haiti and then only built six houses.
Six.
I mean...
The Kenyan Red Cross does some really good work so I guess I'm very biased toward the name. So when I hear things like this I just shake my head. Was it because it wasn't the local red cross? Would the Haitian Red Cross have done better? I mean I don't know much about Haiti except that it used to be called Hispaniola and it was the first country to gain independence from colonialism. So I don't know if they even have a local red cross but from the lesson of years, I can say that it's always a mistake to trust an outsider to solve your problems. They always have their own agenda and it rarely aligns with yours or is purely about helping.
Buyer beware.

And finally, I used to have this beta reader; my cousin Akati. But she's a doctor and she went off to do Doctor Things so now I'm left all by my lonesome with noone to bounce my manuscript off of. I'm taking volunteers if you have experience as a beta reader and editor...

Crossroad Blues

It’s been a Purple Rain sort of day; I think I listened to that song like twenty eight times.+Drake released his Views from the 6 finally today; on Apple Music. I haven’t listened to it, but the lyrics landed in my inbox via Genius so I did read it. Wasn’t really telling me anything I didn’t know. Him and Riri have a friends with benefits thing going on…they sing about it on every record they do. She booty calls him late at night. He wants their relationship to be more than that. She doesn’t have time for a relationship. He’ll wait. It’s practically been a mantra since 2014.

What else?

Oh yeah, the judge sealed Prince’s autopsy investigation so they don’t have to tell us so people are making up their own shit as to why he died. It annoys me because Prince doesn’t deserve that shit. Let him die as he lived.

Meanwhile speculation on who Becky with the Good Hair is, is still in high gear. Does she exist? Is she just one girl? Are Jay and Bey getting divorced? Usual story that circulates about once every before album launch. I don’t care. Though Karrine Steffans did write a starkly vulnerable article about how she’s Becky and Beyonce which impressed me with its honesty. You don’t usually get that level of bare chested, unfiltered information these days. Also why did it make me think Jay-Z is selfish in bed. I don’t know. Maybe because people who’ve had sex with him are always talking/singing about giving him blowjobs. No mention of returning the favor. And he’s not even that cute…

Well anyway, why I was writing is because I’m listening to all my sad songs today; I haven’t been able to since my daddy shuffled off the mortal coil. It’s been too hard; see I’m one of those people who run away from pain? I’m a consummate coward about it. If I think it’ll be too hard I deflect, I distract, I prevaricate, I fill that space with other things, till I feel like the danger is passed. So apparently Prince dying and me listening to Purple Rain on a loop means the danger is passed. I can now sit down and listen to my sad songs play list and let myself feel it. Feel loss, feel pain, feel angry and sad and wistful and nostalgic. And feel like I’ll come out the other side without it killing me. I always feel like I might not survive emotional pain when it’s too fresh. But now, I can bask in it, while Purple Rain plays in the background and fully appreciate Prince’s prowess on a guitar, sing it out loud; and get through this valley of the shadow of death…

It feels very appropriate that it’s rainy as fuck.

Deeply Wailing; Deeply Waaaiiiilliingg

The grim reaper has been busy as fuck this week. It's not okay anymore. The Angel of Death has to be stopped. Like seriously, someone get him. Sam? Dean? Where are you when we need you?

My Brother's Keeper: Supernatural season 10 finale

First of all, I was taking a break from my phone, deciding to read a story and not religiously check my messages and such when +Prince Rogers Nelson died.

Yeah.
Prince is dead.
Now if you had asked me last week how I would feel if Prince died I would have said, "Eh, it would be a loss; like Michael you know? In that abstract way that the maker of great music is gone. A tragedy but at least we'll always have the music."
It wasn't like that.

It was more like an elephant sat on my chest and refused to leave. My heart was heavy and I watched CNN until 3am and cried. All these days later, it's still not okay in spite of all the other people who have died as well. What makes it worse is that living with a sixteen year old; he doesn't really appreciate the enormity of my loss. He's so okay with Prince being dead that I want to smack him upside the head. I'm still in mourning. I am not responsible for my words.

Prince Nelson Rogers

For me, that was the big loss of the week, but the very next day, my brother in law lost his cousin to leukaemia. He was a nice guy; the nicest. The morning after my dad's death, he was right there with us in the hospital. He was very supportive of his family, and by extension, of us and I know that wherever he's gone, it's a good place. Because he was good people.
The next day after that, guess who died, while on stage. Yes. +PAPA WEMBA. I liked that man and his techno soukous. So danceable. My sister reminded me of a concert we went to when he was here in Kenya too many years ago to count. He just collapsed on stage and died. In umm that movie where +Brad Pitt was one of three brothers who slept with his brother's wife while he was away at war...can't remember what it was called but it was horrible; it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. (the story that is). well anyway, at the end, Brad Pitt's character died in the wilderness while fighting with a bear (but not like Leo did) and the narrator who was a native American said 'It was a good death' and that's how it ended. Ever since then, I've been using that expression in my mind if a death doesn't feel so traumatic or tragic. Like my dad's death was a 'good death' because he died on his terms, said goodbye to almost all his family, he was ready. I think Papa Wemba's death too, was a good death. He died doing what he loved. He was happy. Then he lay down and died.

Papa Wemba

Also shuffling off this mortal coil this week was former first lady of Kenya Lucy Kibaki. Now all I can really remember about this...er lady was her tendency to be mad as the hatter. However since all the best people are bonkers anyway, that's a good thing right? I see people really trying to come up with words to describe her on twitter and it really makes me tired. Why can't we just be real about who people were just because they're dead? I was just having this argument today with my son about eulogising me (way way way in the future) as perfect when we both know I'm far from that.

Lucy Kibaki

You didn't think I was gonna just go without talking about #Lemonade did you? I mean I'm no fan of +Beyoncé but I do enjoy the occasional non-shrill song from her. I'm not anti (no pun intended) just her whole Ms. Perfect thing turns me off. Well anyway, so Lemonade...while people were freaking out about Jay-Z maybe possibly cheating on his wife, I'm wondering what 'good hair' looks like to someone like Beyonce. 

Beyonce

I mean obviously it's some caucasian looking shit or something like that judging by the light skin worship that seems to permeate any hint of praise given to her or any celebrity really. "Good Hair" was supposed to be something that gave black people an advantage over their darker skinned, nappy haired counterparts. But that was supposed to be during slavery. Two hundred years ago. How are still here? And by 'we' I mean 'you' because I've never really been indoctrinated into the good hair-bad hair paradigm. Have I? Someone who's known me since I was young should say, not me. The other thing that bothered me is the response by various men to this album. 

The anger.

Men were taking it all extremely personally. You'd think Beyonce was singing to them. And I had to ask myself, 'Self? Why are they so angry?' And I replied to myself, 'Because...I got nothin'
Why are you so mad anyway? Do you even have a reason?

Well anyway, seeing as I'm still in mourning, I'll let you guys opine your opinions if you wish. Goodnight.