When Female Characters Do Stupid Shit

I wrote an article on substack but it's about writing so here it is.

Musings on Characterization by Annemarie Musawale

Spoiler Alert: This is also kind of a rant

Read on Substack

Writing One Book For Years

 Alright, first of all, preorder Marcus Devereux here because you need to read this shit. 

Let's get down to it straight away. I started writing this book sometime in several years ago. I wanna say 2015 but it could have been as early as 2012. Life has been hectic. 

Now, as I write my books, and write stories for others, my style grows and changes becomes more refined and less wild. When I started writing Marcus Devereux, I wasn't even a professional ghostwriter yet. I was an academic writer with two books under her belt who decided to try out a new style. 

The closest pop culture reference I had to my style of writing is Baby's Day Out. The youngins might not know this movie, since it came out in 1994. Why did I decide to write a book using the 1st person POV of a baby during a time when I didn't even know the phrase '1st person POV'? 

I don't know.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It still seems like a good idea and I don't think even after all this time, that it has been done before.

When I tell people or show people some of my work, they tend to get bogged down by harsh reality. 

"How would a baby know this?" 

"This language is too advanced for a baby."

Hello, I'm writing a story about a magical baby but I'm gonna get cockblocked by not making the baby only say goo goo ga? The Sussexes said their son's first word was crocodile or something. And he's not even magical. That's a three-syllable word.

Hello.

It's fiction. Its fantasy. Open your mind.

But going through my work, I definitely see the progression in writing style. This weekend is the first time, in a long time, that I have no client work to do and so I decided to sit down and finish the manuscript. Considering the trajectory of the story I started with, the content is definitely affected by my life experiences. I'm more cynical about the relationships, the slant is more real than fantasy romance. Leo and Mya still be having plenty of sex but I think there's a lot more angst, and fighting and misunderstanding than earlier me would have thought to put in a story. 

In any case, it's a fascinating process, and I cannot wait to present to you, the finished product. I think by the time I'm done, the book will have undergone as many metamorphoses as the cover.

Does Your Writing Spark Joy?

Good morning! I'm so energetic today after sleeping for ten hours last night. The night before that, I slept for one hour. I think the resultant spike in endorphins or whatever (a very technical term) has led to awakening of a further 10% of my brain.
It's science.
So I have been getting an awful lot of comments on my new chapter of my Mombasa Raha Malec fanfiction. (If this sentence is gibberish to you, I apologise. If you look at the top of this page, you will see a link to 'fan fiction' which will lead you to my home page where you can scroll down and see a story labeled "Mombasa Raha" which is an Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane story).

The reason I think I am getting all these comments is because I left a note on my last chapter in the hopes of sparking conversation on the whys and wherefores of leaving kudos, comments and author expectation of the same.
I think maybe because of the age and/or mindset of both fanfic readers, what I got instead of discourse was an avalanche of compliments/reassurances. I can't blame readers for misunderstanding my intentions. I've seen too many posts on all my social media feeds from writers begging for comments on their fics, reassurance that people 'like' their stories...I can't relate.
The reason I even posted the note was because of a tumblr post I read in which writers were complaining that "only" 20% of fanfic readers leave kudos, even less leave comments.
Now for a seasoned indie novel writer this complaint is laughable because we're lucky if we get 1% of readers writing reviews am I right?

However, I also don't blame them for misunderstanding my intentions because most writers don't seem to write because it sparks joy in themselves but seemingly for the attention. I cannot count the number of posts from writers, both indie, traditional and fan fiction, complaining about how much attention their books are not getting.
It's such a sense of entitlement.
I'm not sure where it comes from. Who told y'all that just because you wrote something that people are obligated to read it? Y'all better be grateful for that 20% leaving kudos. Nobody is under contract to leave you even one.

Why do we write?
Personally, when it comes to fan fiction, I began writing for my own entertainment, was vastly surprised when people started reading it. Was even more floored when people started asking for updates, and was flabbergasted by the following I garnered. That was on tumblr and my first fan fic was Chrianna.
It gave me the confidence to know that my writing was good enough to share with the world, but I would have continued writing anyway, whether or not my audience found me because I was and still do write, for me.
I write stories that I enjoy reading. I do not need to be 'reassured' about the epicness of my writing although I do appreciate your appreciation. I know my shit is good. I don't really understand writers who go about slagging their own writing. Is it a play for pity buys?

("Oh no no no, you're writing isn't really horrible. See? I bought your book! And I'm even gonna read it. See, I left you a five star review. Now stop crying please?")
I don't get it. It's not proud or boastful to know that you write well. Each one of us has at least one thing that we're good at in this life. For me, this thing is playing with words and making them sing to me. These are just facts.
So, if you're writing for any other reason than you want to, then stop. Life is too short. Go and find something else that you truly enjoy doing. Maybe like leaving kudos.

But if you truly believe in your writing, then stop the negative self-talk. It serves no purpose apart from making you feel bad about yourself and that is no good for your mental health, or your work ethic.
I slept for one hour the night because I had to finish up an assignment. Trust I would not have been able to do it without the total belief that I was doing what I was supposed to, and doing it well. According to Maya Angelou, that is the very definition of success.
Have a successful day, won't you?

Evolving In Your Craft

"You're just another brick and I'm a sledgehammer"
- Rihanna
It's the way she says it. There is some contempt there, tiredness, warning, matter of factness...It tells me a story; or causes me to superimpose my own story on the words. And in my mind, she's telling some guy (okay +Chris Brown ) who thinks he's the shit that he's actually not. He's just a brick and she's the sledgehammer.
SMASH! BURN!
GirlPower!Rihanna rocks.

Believe it or not, that extract actually does have something to do with evolving in your craft. Rihanna's just happens to be singing rather than writing. The point is, her way of singing has evolved to the point where you can pick up nuances without having them spelt out for you.
As a writer, I'm a great admirer of writers who can do that. I'm not sure I'm one of them yet. I do hope that there is visible evolution in my writing. I can see it in my fanfic on the Winchesters. The way I wrote it when I started out is definitely not how I write now. I'm not sure if it's because of greater understanding about how the Winchesters work or just me getting better. And for the record, writing about characters developed by someone else or even real person fan fiction is a whole different kettle of fish than writing original characters. It's a good way to get one's feet wet though. My first ever story I wrote for public consumption was a real person fanfic featuring +Rihanna and Chris Brown. It was immensely popular on tumblr I must say; even people who didn't like me personally stopped by to read it. And by not like me personally I mean they used to talk about me on other tumblr pages about how they REALLY don't like me but they just visit my page to read my fanfic. It gave me confidence. Let me know that my writing abilities weren't all just in my head.
Maybe.

sidebar; I'm at this hotel near my house and they're straight up playing +Dolly Parton...Like, I don't even know.

The most challenging thing to write, in fan fic or fiction is the 'sex scene'. People take for granted that since everyone (or close enough) does it, then it must be the simplest thing to write.
Right?
Wrong.
Most people write sex scenes where:
1. The foreplay is like interminable. IRL nobody has that kind of time. You're afraid one of your kids will wake up any minute, or you have to get up and go to work or +Empire is coming on any minute now. Ain't nobody got time to 'tease her nipple for hours'. And really, hands up if you want your nipple teased for hours. No seriously. hands up.
2. There is all this explanation of whose limbs go where in a very mechanical way that loses me about three limbs in; I can't keep all that in my head at the same time. In fact a lot of people write very mechanical sex; he inserted his member into her hot leaking mount of venus and thrust hurriedly/leisurely/forcefully/desperately in and out until his vision whited out...if I had a nickel.
Thank you. Very much, for reminding us how sex works.
My sister's friend and I were chatting at my nephew's birthday party and she told me that she doesn't read novels anymore because she's unable to can with all the descriptive passages. An example of one would be the one I read last night where 'Jared' had been asked by 'Sandy' to take her to town and he didn't want to because it was a busy time on the ranch and he had a lot of work. See how I summarised that in one sentence? It was in three. bloody. paragraphs. I call them the 'who cares' sections of the story. Talking to my sister's friend caused me to have an epiphany.
Imagine you don't have to read through that crap.
Just go straight to the next pertinent part of the story.
I do that a lot even if I never realised it before it was verbalised by someone else. Especially with the so-called saucy parts. In my head, as I skim I'm thinking 'sex sex sex sex, uh huh, more sex, the end'.
Diana Gabaldon writes a mean sex scene though. I read through every word. There was this one thing Jamie did to Claire called 'girdling' where he was literally seducing her ass. It was epic. I wrote a whole piece about it on +EzineArticles. It's still one of my most popular articles. I'm grateful that at least one thing the Outlander Series gets right is the sex scenes. Because they've taken my Jamie and made him into this foolish typical male that he absolutely isn't. I had to stop watching. End of rant. Plus they made Claire bitchy. No really, end of rant.

Another writer who has absolutely impressed me, is compo67 on Archive on Our Own. This one sex scene she wrote was written as if they were composing music. I died with admiration, jealousy and envy.
In my own writing, the sex scene I'm really so proud of that I wrote it twice was the dub con at the beginning of Child of Destiny. That was some crazy shit that just wrote itself. My editor said it was too much. I said fuck you very much, it stays as is. It was raw, sometimes painful; but it was honest. And that's what I was going for.
Anyway, I need to get back to my day job. I had another breakthrough on the loo this morning and I'm yet to implement it in the story. Get Child of Destiny here and let me know if I should have listened to my editor.

Between Death and Heaven; In Print

The sensation when you first hold a physical copy of a book that you wrote in your hands, cannot be described in words. It's like damn girl! You did it. You wrote the damned thing. Now all there is left to do is get people to read it. No pressure or anything but there is a button right there you can press to order it.

Oh look! Its my pic.

So cute.