Oh, Are You Procrastinating Too?

I have some work to do. I'm not doing it. Instead, I just finished up writing this delectable piece of fanfiction and now I'm writing a blog post.
It's all relevant!
And I do realize that I can't push myself harder than I want to go. However, I can't let my procrastinating ass just do what it wants 24/7. So this blog post, while distracting me from my work is also reminding me to get back to it just as soon as I have vomited my unwanted opinions all over this page.

I've seen ubiquitous posts about how people post happy pictures on IG making everyone else super jealous and envious and insecure about their lives. And I just can't relate because how are you jealous of someone else's pictures?
That's not your life.
Why do you want to live it?
Maybe it's because I grew up in the eighties and nineties. In those long gone days, if someone was taking a picture showing off their clothes or their watch or whatever, guaranteed it was the maid who was wearing her boss' dress/watch/shoes. So to me, it's still a super village thing to do. Taking a pic of a watch like, "See my bling."
"Very nice Petunia, now put it back before your boss comes."
The lifestyles of the rich and famous are so contrived sometimes don't you think? You never see the really rich dudes like Richard Branson showing off their stuff, do you?
Why not?
Because doing that is just tacky. And it's all probably fake stuff anyway.
Even if it's real, so what? Use it to motivate you to get your own if you want it so badly.
All that jealousy you're wasting on them when you could be reading my fanfic for example (link above) or buying one of my books to distract you from your reality is just crazy to me. Did y'all mothers teach you nothing?

Envy is a weird thing. I want to say I've never felt it but I don't want to be a liar. I'm trying to think carefully to see whether I have actually felt such a thing so I can relate to y'all.
Nope.
Never.
I think I'm too self-contained. I live in the real reality where I understand that I can't have someone else's life even if they are not there to live it. So I can't waste time wanting their lives. I can and I have wanted the attention they get.
For example, when I see posts on my WhatsApp groups or social media where someone says, "I've heard this book is great and I'm struggling to read it. This is my sixteenth attempt but I'm determined to finish it coz everyone's reading it."
Or someone is saying, "I'm tired of reading the same old stuff, show me something new." And then proceed to keep reading the same old stuff.
I just want to push my book in front of them and say, "Have you tried this one? I guarantee you, you'll finish it on the first try. Also very unique story."


Yes, when I see that some people are given eleventy five chances because of their name or their fame and I can't because my name is strange and no one knows me, I feel frustration. But not envy. Nope. Because clearly, my books are better. I write original shit, bitch.
(looking at you Cassandra Clare).
I feel like someone might read this and go, "Cor, that Annemarie is so full of herself."
Well of course I am, who else am I supposed to be full of?
Kanye might be wrong about a lot of things but he's not wrong about one thing. You gotta love yourself like Kanye loves Kanye. You gotta believe in yourself so much that self-doubt has no place in your psyche. When you're very busy believing in yourself you seriously have no time to dwell on the superficialities of other people's lives. And so people can post their life with impunity without the danger of having to resort to the #bowwowchallenge or the #kobikiharachallenge to keep up with the imagined Joneses in their lives.
No?

My point is, don't worry, be happy.

Handling the Critics

On a serious note, I am about to lead you down a dark path. If you don't want down this rabbit hole, now is the time to turn back.

When you create anything, be it a painting, a poem, a ballad, a story, or a child, you will expect people to have opinions about it. The more unsure of themselves they are, the more opinions they will have about what you should be doing with your creation and by extension your life.
Beyonce makes art about her marriage and everyone feels they have the right to comment on whether she stays married to Jay-Z or not.
There is a saying about giving someone an inch and they take a mile.
When you give the world a part of yourself, the result is apparently that they think they own you. That their opinion of you is valid.
It's not.
That's exactly why Rihanna will never claim Hassan in public. She ain't giving you nothin' to speculate about. It must be frustrating for all those so-called fans who spent their lives stalking the lives and Instagrams of any man she was associated with looking for transgressions.
The creator creates. They disseminate that creation into the universe. Recipients of that art consume it. They react to it however they do. That reaction belongs to them. It is none of the creator's business. The converse is also true. As a fan, you have no say over an artist's life or their work. You can accept the art, reject it, vilify it, worship it; but that doesn't mean you get to tell the artist what to do next.

Well...that wasn't as dark as I thought it would be.
"Where is all this coming from Annemarie?" You ask.
Well, since you asked...
I received a comment on one of my old stories on AO3. It was a question of geography. I - apparently - placed Mt. Rushmore in the Grand Canyon and this reader was very upset about it. Now when I say this is an old story...I mean years. So I wasn't really sure what the hell they were talking about. I do not recall in all my years of living, ever typing the words Mt. Rushmore.
"So Annemarie, why didn't you just read over the chapter and find out what they were talking about?"
"Well, because I'm busy and is it that serious?"
I always ask myself when I get a comment about some factoid in my story that someone says is wrong. My question is, "Does this factoid in any way change the direction or message of the story?"
(I have gotten a comment about factoids one other time about In the Shadow of the Styx. They were annoyed at the use of the word Styx in the title and also the appearance of Hitler in the story...never mind).
If the answer is no, then why am I scrambling around bending over backward for a person I've never met so that their hang-ups can be satisfied? People always want to tell you what to do. I stopped listening long ago.
Anyway, so I just thanked the person for their comment and geography lesson and kept it moving.
Then I get another comment on a different chapter from the same person. Apparently now there is a problem with the number of states. Again, I have no idea what they're talking about. I love this story. I know how it goes generally. The fact that I can't remember these details means they are less than irrelevant to the story. Anyway, her new problem with me was that not knowing these factoids indicated to her that I wasn't an American and that was jarring to her otherwise enjoyable reading experience...
Well, one comment...okay. Two is asking for trouble.

I told her that yes, I was not an American, she was right about that. Would she please go away and leave my fic alone?
A diplomatic answer? No.
But I kept it all the way real like you're advised not to do with readers. Don't respond or be polite. I think I was rudely polite. I said please. And thanks.
I think I've said it before; I don't understand the concept of letting people badmouth your work ad infinitum. I get that some people won't like it, and that's just great. We're not avocado after all - not everybody's gonna like you. But idiocy such as this above, man...you can swallow the irritation and let it give you ulcers or you can clap back and defend yourself.
When it comes to my creations; my son, and my books, you better be sure I will say something. I don't care who's right and who's wrong; you come for mine, be prepared to defend your position as vigorously as I will defend mine. That's why I look like a twenty-year-old with artfully greying hair. I don't let bitterness eat me up from inside. I let it out.
I'm not telling you to do what I do. I'm saying do you, regardless of what 'the experts' say.