And It All Came Pouring Out

Listening to 'oldies' music and reading my old posts. I notice that I have a tendency to not finish my thoughts on a subject. this could be because;
a. my brain runs faster than my hands ever could.
b. I have ADD
c. I don't read through my work when I'm done.
d. All of the above.
e. None of the above.

Also it's raining.

I ran across this absolute gem about Prince that I absolutely have to share with you.

as seen on instagram

It's not why I admire Prince...that he did things for others. It's inspiring, don't get me wrong; but we didn't know about these things until after he was dead. But it explains his music, his lyrics; the low down preaching that he did...he had a good heart and that leaked into the things that he did. I'm glad we were alive at the same time.
I was thinking that it was ironic that for a lot of the music I listen to now, I didn't know the artist when they were alive. Bob Marley in particular comes to mind. I don't remember him. He died when I was maybe six? The people who listen to his music now were mostly not born when he died. His music endures. Prince's music will endure. Good things do that; true things.

But now that brings me to William Shakespeare. Like seriously people, why does he endure? Is it because you don't get what he's trying to say half the time? We still trying to figure him out? Because Romeo and Juliet? Is it their age? The fact that the whole double suicide thing was completely pointless? The failures of communication breakdown? You just can't predict what will stick. What if Harry Potter fades out of the collective consciousness after the demise of this generation? What if the books don't endure but the movies do!!! You just can't tell with these things. There is no rhyme or reason.
I was talking about Prince...
There was this episode of +Supernatural this season which was legit Romeo and Juliet the wincest edition. It was so epic. I feel like every episode this season has been that. I'm calling it. Best overall season of Supernatural ever. Every episode has brought it. But...I have a separate blog for that so let's get back to organised rambling.

random pic of a lovely room

I read this article the other day where the American Red Cross raised half a billion dollars to rebuild homes in Haiti and then only built six houses.
Six.
I mean...
The Kenyan Red Cross does some really good work so I guess I'm very biased toward the name. So when I hear things like this I just shake my head. Was it because it wasn't the local red cross? Would the Haitian Red Cross have done better? I mean I don't know much about Haiti except that it used to be called Hispaniola and it was the first country to gain independence from colonialism. So I don't know if they even have a local red cross but from the lesson of years, I can say that it's always a mistake to trust an outsider to solve your problems. They always have their own agenda and it rarely aligns with yours or is purely about helping.
Buyer beware.

And finally, I used to have this beta reader; my cousin Akati. But she's a doctor and she went off to do Doctor Things so now I'm left all by my lonesome with noone to bounce my manuscript off of. I'm taking volunteers if you have experience as a beta reader and editor...

Is It Too Late Now To Say Sooorrry?

I did a bad thing yesterday; I betrayed a confidence. I didn't do it on purpose mind - I thought the person I was telling was already generally informed on the issue we were discussing and...we were just discussing it with a view to finding a solution/way forward. But apparently the person whose confidence I betrayed didn't see it that way. Her stand is she told me something in confidence and I should have kept it that way.

I find myself having these internal arguments with myself about it. I get that she's mad at me, and I told someone something she didn't want them to know. I get that. I apologised. But deep inside I gotta admit I don't feel like I did something wrong. And I've been on the other side of this equation many times. I've been the one who feels betrayed about someone telling something I told them, so I should know better. I should feel bad. But I don't. I find that I have this 'but...' 'but I...' thing going round in my head, trying to justify what I did.

And it's like I'm also an objective third person, watching myself struggle with the fact that I should feel sorry and I don't at the same time being aware that I did something wrong. Also I don't want to stop helping the person whose confidence I betrayed. I want to help her with her issue because I can. But I also don't want to force my presence on her and try to make it seem that I know better than her what is good for her. I have this cousin see, who does that. She tells you what she thinks should be going on with you and what you should be doing about it and it's really by the grace of the God I'm not speaking to right now that I haven't shanked her. So I don't want to be her. But I also think that this girl is over-reacting.

And I feel bad for thinking that because hey, I BETRAYED A CONFIDENCE. Even if I didn't do it on purpose (there I go with the justifications) I still did it. And she should be able to be mad about that if she wants to be. But I'm thinking she's missing the big picture here. Which is the why we were even discussing it in the first place. It wasn't for idle gossip, or malice or just passing information. We were trying to find ways to make it better for her and in the course of doing that...I BETRAYED A CONFIDENCE. So I'm kind of in that place where I don't know what to feel. Should I be sad? Should I go about my business and hope that she comes around? What should I do?

It's like today's episode of +Supernatural . Life is just crazy on so many levels.
In other news I'm thinking about changing my Child of Destiny cover...here's a sample of some designs I'm looking at. Please say something.