The Pivot: When Do You Know It' s Time?

 The universe has been kicking me in the ass of late, with signs and portents of changing winds. I know this territory. It's familiar because it's not the first time it's happened to me. The thing I've been asking myself is; do I want to pivot because it's the path for me, or because I'm giving up?

I've indeed been increasingly bored with the assignments I get. There are only so many Regency romance storylines you can write before they begin to blur together. But is that enough reason to quit?

Then I think back over the years, how long I've been thinking about this, but there just has never been time to make it happen. So much work to do, and so many bills to pay. The upheaval that has happened in the last few years, both internally and externally has really brought this thought to the fore; Annemarie, is it time to do things differently?

I'm gonna be fifty this year. My body is breaking down. I don't want to write smut for publishing mills for another ten years. I'd like to continue writing stories but with a bit more control and the ability to earn life-changing income from it. Gotta think about my retirement plan.

(It seems delusional to have a retirement plan with the way the world is going but theoretically).

So yesterday, I got another push in the 'you need to pivot' direction. A client I had written a 'clean wholesome romance' for last year sent me a message. 

(Honestly, any white woman wanting a 'clean wholesome romance' should have been a red flag but again as I said...bills to pay).

I think I completed the assignment in October, I'm not sure and then she sent a message in December about the book being in editing and after that was done, she might send it back to me for corrections. Later on in December or early January, she sent me a message that there would be no corrections to do.

Great. Nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes it turns out like that. So I gave the generic, thanks, hope to work with you again, bye.

So yesterday, she replied to the message, saying "Oh sorry I forgot to end the contract, and here's my 'honest feedback' on your work. She then proceeds to tell me she suspects I used AI because I used 'big words'  that no one uses in conversation.

In the next sentence, she accuses me of having grammar and spelling mistakes, 'which shows I don't check my work'. Now, if I'm supposed to be using AI, doesn't it proofread? She also said my work was late - which is the only true thing she said.

Now, aside from being extremely discombobulated by her message, I just couldn't bring myself to take it seriously.

(Oops, there I go using big words that people don't use in sentences. This must be an AI post)

It seemed so disingenuous and ill-intentioned, especially coming out of the blue MONTHS after the assignment was complete.

She then closed the post by saying the readers hated it because my writing was subpar. Now as an author, I take leave to doubt that she had her book published already if the editor completed their work in December and there 'were so many spelling errors' and so much didn't make sense. Unless she decided to publish the book with these errors and mistakes and AI that didn't make sense etc. So even if she published in January, there's no way you have feedback by February. Unless you're J.K Rowling or Diana Gabaldon and people are spending nights on the sidewalk to get your book first thing, you're just not going to have feedback that soon.

So, white woman is lying. Nothing new there. It seems to be their default. I really don't know how y'all live with them 24/7. The mental health challenges alone...

(Disclaimer: yes, yes, I know. Not ALL white women)

But it was like the last straw.

I am now convinced that -

It's time to take up the reigns and make a change. Finish this romance for Harlequin romance. Begin the story for choice games, finish Marcus Devereux, and look for better-paying, and more challenging gigs that don't take up all my time. 

No big.

I've been listening to former recruiters on TikTok, giving advice on how to get the job of your dreams. I'm trying to implement it. It's not easy but it's not impossible. Just gotta be patient, do the work, and believe in myself. 

Like always. 

Sigh.

(Wish me luck.)