They Want Unique But Not Really

 The other day, I saw this call for novels from Scribd and I decided, why not? So I sent them a few links for a variety of my books.

Even as I did it, I realized that they weren't going to pick any of my books. It's not because the stories aren't good enough. 

No.

It's that when people ask for 'original' stories, what they mean is, 'this story should be recognizable as something already out there in the market, but unique enough that it's not plagiarism.'

They don't really want ORIGINAL original tales.

Listen, ain't nobody going to buy a story about African gay guys, one of who plays rugby and who are caught up in the apocalypse and fighting resurrected Egyptian gods. Who's written that book before? Chimamanda hasn't. Nnedi hasn't. Definitely, all the white interchangeable authors haven't. 

If you're an African you better write Half a Yellow Sun, Things Fall Apart or else, you write a generic story featuring white people doing white people shit. This encompasses everything from fighting aliens to being all sad and depressed about their looks and/or shitty parents, the classic love story; whatever it is. You've read it before and now you want to read it again and pretend it's new.

So even as I submitted my books, I knew that Scribd would pass on them, even as they were specifically looking for 'minority' writers. 

So I moved on in my mind and let it go. 

"But Annemarie," you might ask, "why bother to submit if you knew they weren't going to take your books?"

Well, for one, dear reader, I only came to that realization after I'd already initiated contact. Secondly, it doesn't hurt to try. Sometimes you underestimate people. Rarely, in my case, but it happens. So never disappoint yourself on behalf of other people. Always give them the chance to disappoint you themselves. 

It's the surprises that live in between that space that make life worth living.

Rinse, Repeat or Resolve?

 Do you sometimes feel like a hamster on a wheel, constantly running at the same spot? I wonder to myself, does the hamster mind not moving? Do they know they're not moving or are they thinking that they're going somewhere?

Unfortunately for my own morbid mentality, I don't only wonder this about hamsters, but also people. Do you feel like sometimes we just do the same thing over and over, and expect a different result? 

Yes, we'll vote for the criminal who wants to be president to escape the ICC but this time, it'll be different.

Yes, we'll go to the streets and riot because a cop shot another black man and this time, they'll listen.

Yes, I'll mix my drinks and get falling down drunk again; it's different than all those other times because I'm doing it socially, I haven't seen people in ages. I'm just celebrating.

Just one more soda then I'll stop drinking them. I'll only drink water from tomorrow.

And around and around we go.

Wouldn't it be better to just acknowledge that we're going to stay in the spot we're in, forever? No ifs or buts just, 'this isn't working'. 

 Thus leaving you free to scrap it and find a plan b or...live with it.

I've come to terms with the fact that I will probably never stop drinking sodas completely. I might go long periods of time where I manage to avoid them but sooner or later, I'll probably find myself chugging a Fanta. 

Sorry Jared Padalecki. 

(Yeah okay so context: Mr Padalecki is part owner of GoMantra Labs and as part of their marketing, he's been encouraging us to stretch, drink water and sleep for at least 6-8 hours a night. So I happened to reply to him when he asked us how we were doing with the water drinking and I said I'm still drinking soda in addition to water. And he said I should try to stop. I told him I would try.)

One thing I've realized about myself is that locking myself into a routine is tantamount to shackles on my wrists, in my mind. So I watch y'all videos where you have a whole thing that you do when you wake up from face masks, under-eye lotion, teeth shining, makeup etc, and I'm like dude...I will commit to brushing my teeth morning and evening and showering every evening. That's it. 

The rest is too much.

I just don't care enough about how the world sees me or whatever.

I do want to live healthy, free of pain and disease and have a long life. These are actual desires of mine and so I will go out of my way to achieve these things. If I look at drinking water not as something I have to do but as a way for me to have more energy and be more healthy, I drink more. However, Fanta is still addictive. Especially Kenyan Fanta and sometimes my body just wants that sugar (and sometimes it doesn't). So I'll drink my soda guilt-free because I've let go of "I'm not supposed."

That's my solution to the issue of drop soda, drink water. I'm gonna drink soda, drink water, not feel guilty and go about my day. 

Three questions to ask yourself:

Am I deliberately hurting anyone?

Am I hurting myself?

Is it anyone's business but my own?

Once you know the answers to these questions you shall find peace.

Writing One Book For Years

 Alright, first of all, preorder Marcus Devereux here because you need to read this shit. 

Let's get down to it straight away. I started writing this book sometime in several years ago. I wanna say 2015 but it could have been as early as 2012. Life has been hectic. 

Now, as I write my books, and write stories for others, my style grows and changes becomes more refined and less wild. When I started writing Marcus Devereux, I wasn't even a professional ghostwriter yet. I was an academic writer with two books under her belt who decided to try out a new style. 

The closest pop culture reference I had to my style of writing is Baby's Day Out. The youngins might not know this movie, since it came out in 1994. Why did I decide to write a book using the 1st person POV of a baby during a time when I didn't even know the phrase '1st person POV'? 

I don't know.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It still seems like a good idea and I don't think even after all this time, that it has been done before.

When I tell people or show people some of my work, they tend to get bogged down by harsh reality. 

"How would a baby know this?" 

"This language is too advanced for a baby."

Hello, I'm writing a story about a magical baby but I'm gonna get cockblocked by not making the baby only say goo goo ga? The Sussexes said their son's first word was crocodile or something. And he's not even magical. That's a three-syllable word.

Hello.

It's fiction. Its fantasy. Open your mind.

But going through my work, I definitely see the progression in writing style. This weekend is the first time, in a long time, that I have no client work to do and so I decided to sit down and finish the manuscript. Considering the trajectory of the story I started with, the content is definitely affected by my life experiences. I'm more cynical about the relationships, the slant is more real than fantasy romance. Leo and Mya still be having plenty of sex but I think there's a lot more angst, and fighting and misunderstanding than earlier me would have thought to put in a story. 

In any case, it's a fascinating process, and I cannot wait to present to you, the finished product. I think by the time I'm done, the book will have undergone as many metamorphoses as the cover.