Uploading Your Ebook: It Can Be As Frustrating As Fuck

I'm exhausted. I finished my manuscript yesterday, thought about getting it critiqued further on scribdophile but then felt like I absolutely did not have another edit in me. So I shrugged my shoulders and began the process of uploading it on smashwords absolutely FILLED with excitement at how the story had turned out.

I upload it for the first time and it was smooth sailing until they emailed me to say, hey...we can't have you advertising other sites in your books. The distributors won't like it. I sigh...I have to go and remove all references to where a fellow author advertising in the flap of my book had put in her locations for where to buy her book.

That done, I re-upload the document. But wait, now it refuses to convert to kindle and epub. Bish whet?

Eight times I tried to upload; it rejected it every time. I tried contacting customer care but they have a 72 hour turn around time and I'm impatient as fuck. I tried removing the ad for the other author's book; I tried changing formats...no joy. It was sooo frustrating. At some point I considered just giving up on smashwords and going to lulu. (I actually did go to lulu) but I love smashwords; it's so hassle free. Ha ha! did I say hassle free? It was...

I finally go to bed having done nothing all day and night except try to upload this book and angst. When I wake up there is an email from smashwords waiting, telling me I'm running behind schedule on uploading my manuscript to fill the pre-order requirement. Now this makes me want to cry because I'd messaged them continuously asking for help with no reply. Nevertheless, I reply to apprise them once again of the problem and this time I get an answer. This is day two; I'm supposed to be doing other work but I'm still trying to upload my stuff...

Finally I get help from 'Kevin' from customer care. He tells me to remove my Table of Content tabs, any images (from the other author) and page numbers.
 'But I need a table of contents' I say.
 'Watch the youtube video  on how to insert one' the FAQ replies.
So I watch the video and make the corrections and voila! At last, 48 hours after I've started the process, The Swamp is Full of Mystery is successfully uploaded. And I need a drink.