Society seems to be built on the fragile foundation of male insecurity. To quote Chimamanda because she said it so Perfectly:
This notion has been thrust forcibly in my face recently because of two women who embody everything that it is to be Flawless: Megan Rapinoe and Serena Williams. Of course, in addition to being phenomenal at what they do, these two women are also minorities - Megan is gay and Serena is black.
Unfortunately, society has made it so that if you are a minority and also phenomenally successful and then on top of that you dare to have two x chromosomes...man...you have committed a capital offence punishable by being called names such as:
'Oh my God, that Megan/Serena is so arrogant she brings disgrace to the sport. Not like *insert delicate blonde white cishet woman here* who is just such a great example for young girls to follow."
It's the worst sort of gaslighting and it boggles me that everyone doesn't immediately see through it and go like, "Boo! shame. shame. shame."
Of course, even in fiction it's only the women who get to walk naked down the street as people shout "Shame!" (disclaimer: Cersei totally deserved it though. However, she's a perfect example of female big dick energy...misused).
I don't even claim the word 'feminist' for myself although I would have been in the front line burning my bra and screaming in joy. I hate bras with a passion and I take my Double D's very personally. God really took the mickey out of me with that one. A reckoning will come one day though...
The reason why I don't claim the word is that it's been subverted by white women for their own ends. Being a woman though is a declaration in itself; especially when you own your womanhood and try to do it the way you want to as opposed to how society expects you to. Society tried to shame women into tying themselves up with these corsets and later bras, hence the burning. Before missionaries brought their repressed bullshit to African shores, bras did not exist here in any way, shape or form. The patriarchy, like every other bad thing, was brought to us courtesy of missionaries.
Anyways, as I was saying about colonialists - another example of some female big dick energy is Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex. Every time she appears in public, the whites find something to complain about.
She holds her kid at a cricket match, "Gasp! How dare she!"
She attends a Lion King opening, "Oh my God she was heard complaining about how we treat her badly! Doesn't she know there's people dying of hunger?" *Kourtney Kardashian voice* p.s. All she said in response to Pharrell was "they don't make it easy."
It's just jealousy.
Whatever happened to just being happy about people's achievements? What happened to clapping for them when they do a good or difficult thing? I know we are surrounded by a lot of negative energy. Capitalism is killing us all. Our leaders don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves to the point of actively trying to subjugate all of us to their rich people needs. This is all bad. But we're aware of it now. So at least we're not sleepwalking through life and sooner or later, we'll find a fix.
In the meantime, you have to find pockets of happiness wherever you can - and I don't mean like escaping to the bottom of a whiskey bottle, that just exacerbates your problems long term - be it in movies, books, sex, conversation, connection...whatever works for you.
And to insecure people who resent those of us who have learned to harness our big dick energy I say, work on yourself. It's not too late for you. Change your mental conversation, positive reinforcement only, build your confidence and grow your own big dick energy so that we truly can all be living in Wakanda.
"We teach girls to shrink themselves To make themselves smaller We say to girls "You can have ambition But not too much You should aim to be successful But not too successful Otherwise you will threaten the man" Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage I am expected to make my life choices Always keeping in mind that Marriage is the most important Now marriage can be a source of Joy and love and mutual support But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage And we don't teach boys the same?We raise girls to each other as competitors Not for jobs or for accomplishments Which I think can be a good thing But for the attention of men We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings In the way that boys are..."
Unfortunately, society has made it so that if you are a minority and also phenomenally successful and then on top of that you dare to have two x chromosomes...man...you have committed a capital offence punishable by being called names such as:
'Oh my God, that Megan/Serena is so arrogant she brings disgrace to the sport. Not like *insert delicate blonde white cishet woman here* who is just such a great example for young girls to follow."
It's the worst sort of gaslighting and it boggles me that everyone doesn't immediately see through it and go like, "Boo! shame. shame. shame."
Of course, even in fiction it's only the women who get to walk naked down the street as people shout "Shame!" (disclaimer: Cersei totally deserved it though. However, she's a perfect example of female big dick energy...misused).
The reason why I don't claim the word is that it's been subverted by white women for their own ends. Being a woman though is a declaration in itself; especially when you own your womanhood and try to do it the way you want to as opposed to how society expects you to. Society tried to shame women into tying themselves up with these corsets and later bras, hence the burning. Before missionaries brought their repressed bullshit to African shores, bras did not exist here in any way, shape or form. The patriarchy, like every other bad thing, was brought to us courtesy of missionaries.
Anyways, as I was saying about colonialists - another example of some female big dick energy is Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex. Every time she appears in public, the whites find something to complain about.
She holds her kid at a cricket match, "Gasp! How dare she!"
She attends a Lion King opening, "Oh my God she was heard complaining about how we treat her badly! Doesn't she know there's people dying of hunger?" *Kourtney Kardashian voice* p.s. All she said in response to Pharrell was "they don't make it easy."
It's just jealousy.
In the meantime, you have to find pockets of happiness wherever you can - and I don't mean like escaping to the bottom of a whiskey bottle, that just exacerbates your problems long term - be it in movies, books, sex, conversation, connection...whatever works for you.
And to insecure people who resent those of us who have learned to harness our big dick energy I say, work on yourself. It's not too late for you. Change your mental conversation, positive reinforcement only, build your confidence and grow your own big dick energy so that we truly can all be living in Wakanda.
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