Have you ever been mad as hell and someone (a man) told you to "Calm down"? Did it make you calm or did it having you spitting with rage? What about when you're trying to have a serious talk with someone (your boyfriend) and they tell you to not look so serious?
"Smile more!"
Do you want to smile or do you want to chop off their heads with an axe?
Today I had to call the COVID-19 hotline to find out if my son's symptoms meant the virus had found us. See I found him in the kitchen, shirt off, saying his skin was too sensitive to be touched. And well, Rita Wilson (Tom Hank's wife) said that was her first symptom. So I didn't panic but I had to find out if I should. The first person I spoke to clearly wasn't a health professional and they tried to take me backwards by telling me how to dial for symptoms but then they course corrected and transferred me to a doctor so kudos for that. The doctor said that in isolation, hypersensitivity isn't a symptom but we should probably visit a doctor nevertheless for something non-COVID-related.
Of course, I'm reluctant to do that. Hell, I need to see a dentist but I just don't see how I can right now. Risk versus benefit analysis tells me to stay home. I can still chew food after all.
When you have genuine worries and problems and someone tells you to just 'be happy', they're kind of erasing your agency to feel. They're telling you your feelings aren't valid.
"Just get over it."
"Suck it up."
"Play through the pain."
All monumentally horrible advice.
I'd like to offer a counter.
"Wallow in it."
"Feel your feelings."
"When you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death, keep going."
Because the truth is that the only to get over is through. You gotta go through whatever you're going through. You gotta suffer.
But at the end of the day, make it mean something. Don't let the suffering be for nothing. Learn something new about yourself. Discover that you're stronger than you thought. Don't make the same mistakes twice.
Let it count for something.
We've seen that even COVID-19 has a silver lining. Nature is healing itself. Capitalism has been exposed for the abusive sham that it is, as has Ellen Degeneres. Work environments have proved to be more versatile than previously thought. We can feed our hungry if we really want. Yes, even so-called 'Third-World' countries. Oh, and America is a Third World country complete with dictator.
Everything is getting exposed.
So once we have a vaccine (which no, Africans will not be your guinea pigs) and this thing is somewhat under control, let's not go back to business as usual.
Let's learn, let's grow, let's evolve.
"Smile more!"
Do you want to smile or do you want to chop off their heads with an axe?
Of course, I'm reluctant to do that. Hell, I need to see a dentist but I just don't see how I can right now. Risk versus benefit analysis tells me to stay home. I can still chew food after all.
"Just get over it."
"Suck it up."
"Play through the pain."
All monumentally horrible advice.
I'd like to offer a counter.
"Wallow in it."
"Feel your feelings."
"When you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death, keep going."
Because the truth is that the only to get over is through. You gotta go through whatever you're going through. You gotta suffer.
But at the end of the day, make it mean something. Don't let the suffering be for nothing. Learn something new about yourself. Discover that you're stronger than you thought. Don't make the same mistakes twice.
Let it count for something.
Everything is getting exposed.
So once we have a vaccine (which no, Africans will not be your guinea pigs) and this thing is somewhat under control, let's not go back to business as usual.
Let's learn, let's grow, let's evolve.
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