The Person in the Mirror

 Yes, I know 'man' in the original song stood for 'mankind' rather than the male of the species but since this is all about inclusivity, let's just say 'person'.

So I was scrolling along on Twitter minding my business when I saw this post. An obviously white woman was quite UPSET at Whoopi for going on Stephen Colbert and explaining what happened when she said Jews and Nazis were perpetrating white-on-white violence during the holocaust.

DISCLAIMER:  Being melanated myself, I also do not understand the difference between Jews and Gentiles of Caucasian origin and I am not here to argue the veracity of this statement.

What I was taken aback by was her aggression towards Whoopi which seemed out of proportion to what Whoopi said. She accused Whoopi of joking about the whole thing, yadda yadda. So I asked her, where is the joke? She was simply telling Steve what happened and where the trouble came in. 

So the woman said that Whitney didn't apologize, which is not true, she did.

And it reminded me of that time Jennifer Gunter, who is a vagina doctor, went after Oprah for having a vagina douche named after her and opening the gift on Instagram. She tried to claim it was some sort of Joe Rogan level misleading the public type thing. That vagina and vulva are different things and that the douche goes in the vulva.

Talk about overkill. 

Anyway, I found myself in the position of defending these two powerful black women just because I don't like the out of proportion blame they get for what is essentially nothing to do with them. Do you feel safer attacking the black woman and don't experience guilt because she's rich and famous? It's still racism, White Woman.

So as I was pointing out that Whoopi apologized for her words and maybe she harbors no guilt about Jewish oppression because from her perspective at the bottom of the hierarchy, the Nazi-Jewish conflict is two elephants fighting while black people, the Romanis and the disabled who ALSO were exterminated in Nazi Germany but no one mentions them, are the grass.

So expecting her to sound remorseful for something she had nothing to do with is the energy she should save for other Nazis. Well, miss White Woman backtracked a bit and tried to say that Jews have always supported black people in America. Maybe they have, I don't know. But they are, to this day, also perpetuating apartheid against Palestinians and treating Ethiopian Jews in Israel as second-class citizens. 

She called me an antisemite.

I became an antisemite when I pointed out her wrongs just as I become a 'reverse racist' when the word 'black' comes up in any conversation where there is a debate on how a person has been treated by others and that person happens to be black. see Meghan Markle, Kamala Harris, Serena Williams, etc.

People would rather turn around and call you names than face their own prejudice. Maybe Nazis didn't regard Jews as the same race as them. Nazis were supposed to be "Aryans" yes? Blue eyes, blonde hair. Other brown-haired but white-skinned people were what? 

In school, I learned about three races; Caucasian, Mongoloid, and Negroid. Of course, it's white people who came up with these races so they get to be 'ian' while everyone else is 'oid'. But these are their own divisions and so, what are Jews now? Aren't they Caucasians? 

Genuine question.

White woman said 'antisemitism is rampant' in society but her calling me an antisemite made me wonder if maybe they need to look at the definition and why people have concerns. 

We all like to point outward - me included - with our victimization. But how about we interrogate our own prejudices instead? I think that's what the song was about - starting with the man in the mirror; - dealing with our own internal biases first, before being 'furious' at others for theirs. 

Imagine if everyone did that.

What if everyone examined their own -isms? Tribalism, Racism, Homophobia, Transphobia, Colorism, Internalized Racism, all of it. Everyone just said, "Wait. Lemme deal with my own shit first."

Society after we've all dealt with our shit

Of course, it's just a dream but just imagine.

Rihanna Is Pregnant!

 Did you feel a seismic shift?

That's why.

Are you excited? Of course, you are. I am. We all are. 

I'm seeing people posting about this being the end of us getting R9 as pregnancy is some debilitating disease that stops people from being able to sing or as if this is Regency England where once you're married and popping out babies, that's the end of you doing anything else. It always boggles me how prehistoric y'all's thinking is even in the year of our lord 2022. Frankly, I'm embarrazzed for you.

This woman has proved time and again that she will not be confined by your arbitrary boundaries. If she wants to release R9 she will. If she wants to wait ten years, fifteen years, one year, that's what she'll do. But just because a woman has a baby, that doesn't mean that's all the woman is.

Other people are talking about "why with A$AP though?' and I am thinking that you guys just don't pay attention. Rihanna gave y'all the blueprint a long time ago. She said her grandmother told her to find a man who loves her more than she loves him. 

check.

She said, she wants to have a baby, not necessarily with a man but it would be nice if she could find one who can behave.

check.

Honestly, the man has clearly been checking for her for a minute. But he showed some maturity by waiting until he was ready to be serious before he shot his shot. This shows wisdom and discernment. Different from any other relationship she's publicly had, she and Rocky hold hands in public, he carries her about, the PDA is full-on. So the question is, did she not want PDA before, or was she unsure of the others enough not to claim them in public like that?

Clearly, this relationship is different.

I'm just very excited to see what levels of beauty and grace this combination of DNA produces. I'm also very happy for my queen because she's wanted this and now she has it, with a man who has said she's The One. Well...they all said it, but he also ACTS like it.

I'm sure there are going to be a lot of tears shed tonight though. Bahahaha!

In Search of Paradise: Missing Scenes

As part of my New Year's resolution to pay more attention to my books, and utilize the tools at my disposal to grow my brand, here is a video of me narrating the missing scene posted on HubPages.

Enjoy.

Missing Scenes as Marketing?

 Hi guys,

Having woken up and found my mojo again in this year of our lord 2022 I not only intend to finish writing Marcus Devereux - which is intimidatingly good FYI but also, give my already published books some love. 

Starting with In Search of Paradise, which is really, well, I won't say my best work because they're all good, but it does go its own direction right. Gay Africans, rugby, set in Nairobi but then also the apocalypse...it's real but also fantastical. 

Anyway, I'm trying a thing where I post missing scenes on my hub page.

I've just put up the first one. Go take a look and tell me how you like it.

It's Been A Creativity Crushing Time

 Hi.

I know it's not just me who is finding this time challenging to the creative juices. It's not just the pandemic I think but everything that goes with it. The change in lifestyle (not mine but now my son is always home and it's just a different dynamic), the fearmongering, the fear of illness and death, not just yours but everybody's. 

Ugh.

It's a lot.

I just got my second jab today and so I'm feeling a modicum of relief especially since it comes at the tail end of the Delta variant surge; at least the tail end in Kenya - don't know about you, other guys.

Still, I am shocked at the number of people around me who are at the very least reluctant to take the vaccine. My boda boda guy who took me to the hospital to get my shot today told me he hasn't received the shot because he's afraid of needles.

I told him I was afraid of needles too but it doesn't hurt. 

It doesn't.

Frankly, if I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it myself. The complete painlessness is messing with my cognitive dissonance because on Saturday I was working in a clinic pharmacy and there were about five babies throwing fits about being injected with needles. Now I don't know if babies are just naturally hysterical or the vaccine nurse is just really excellent at jabbing people.

The bloody thing took less than a minute start to finish. I was wishing I'd have lured my boda boda driver with my boobs to come with me and give it a try. I mean since y'all seem to like my boobs so much might as well put them to good use, saving the world.

Unfortunately, I thought of that only after he left.

However, if anyone wants to see my boobs, I will show them to you in exchange for you getting vaxxed. Fair trade?

I was trying to tell him how as a motorcycle rider, he meets all sorts and he never knows who's sick and he rebutted that with "God protects us."

Sometimes I wish y'all had never heard of God because y'all use him to cover a MULTITUDE of sins including being irresponsible with yourselves. But when you're hospitalized and the bill is climbing by 1.4million a day, all of a sudden, it's not God providing, it's you, with your hand out, asking me to help you with your bill. 

Why can't we all just use common sense?

Did you used to believe the saying that 'Common Sense is Not So Common'? I - to my shame - did not. But now, I realize that it's so true and it's part of what is messing with my chi. Like...???

I spend so much time being this gif:

that it's cutting into my work time.

Mara the white people are proving how dirty they are by announcing proudly that they don't shower.

People are openly outraged at people taking offense at oppression.

PEOPLE ARE REFUSING TO BE VACCINATED

Let's not even talk about Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls.

It's just... a lot.

On top of that, I've been swamped with work, having reached peak inability to say no to new clients. Thankfully, I've moved a lot of stuff off my plate and now I can manage what I have without going broke and also being able to do other things during the day like walk, update fanfic, exercise, cook, watch Netflix...just normal things that had all gotten thrown by the wayside.

Maybe it'll help me to stop snarking at strangers on twitter...okay maybe not stop, but do it less often. Sometimes the dumb gets too much.

So, anyway, I just wanted to get on here, get my feet wet and tell you that I'm trying to make a comeback. Here's a video of seven reasons why you should read my books.

This Little Light of Mine

 Here are some thinky thoughts I've had today about being yourself and living authentically. This should probably have been the title of this post.

Anyway, let us begin with this Instagram post about my son and his first time wearing nail polish.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Musawale Annemarie (@fictionistah)

My son has been playing with the idea of nail polish for a long time. He had hesitancy about applying it because girly, toxic masculinity, blah blah.

But now that his hero A$AP Rocky wears nail polish and his girlfriend is wholly on board with him coloring his nails, suddenly it's A-Ok. I'm glad because hey, self-expression. But I also wish he'd come to these conclusions on his own without the need for co-sign.

Because I think the need for co-sign and fitting in with the crowd is really responsible for a lot of our misery.

I'll give you another example.

I signed up to do a Big Bang - which is simply the collective writing of fan fiction stories based on a theme by a group of fandom writers - because I wanted to find my way back to my other fanfiction somehow. You guys are not the only ones I've been neglecting. 

Anyway, I'm doing a crossover fic featuring the movie Attack the Block. 

Sam Winchester is Moses. 

It's going well. 

But I asked that it would be good if my artist had watched the movie because if you've seen the movie, you know that it has a very distinct vibe.

So I get this artist, yeah? And the first thing she says is, "Oh I haven't watched the movie but I'm sure it'll be fine."

Huh?

So I ask her if she's at least intending to google the movie in order to get the vibe and she goes silent on me. So when the mod checks in, I just go ahead and tattle because ain't nobody got time for this shit. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to produce the best work I can because it's all my legacy. 

Well, after I complained to the moderator, the artist gets back to me with the "Sorry I've been busy with work but somehow my lack of communication is your fault."

White girls, I swear...

Predictable as fuck. 

I don't know how y'all be living with them.

Well anyway, I decided that I'm not twisting myself into a pretzel to accommodate her bullshit. I made like Meghan Markle and quit her. As in I wrote to the mods and said, give me another artist or else let my work stand without one. I've never heard of anyone doing this. It's probably unprecedented. Will likely make me unpopular. 

But my conscience is clear and my peace of mind is paramount and my work is uncompromised.

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

All this to say, hooray to individuality.

A Voyage of Discovery

 So I've been spending all my time working and trolling on Twitter which might not be the best use of my time I will admit. Well, the work has been very beneficial but I'm not sure about the trolling.

It's just that I've been reading things on there.

About being neurodivergent.

And I'll be damned if it doesn't sound like me.

It kind of freed me, to know that my character flaws - the brutal honesty especially - might just be a condition of my neurology and therefore completely out of my hands. I've been seeing a lot of Kenyans on the journey of discovery, finding out about their neurodivergence as adults, chronic medical conditions, mental health issues, sexual awakenings...and every story triggers a reaction in me.

Do I have that?

Am I that?

I'm 46 years old and I'm still discovering new things about myself. It's nice. You can't be finding new things and feeling old.

There's a curious freedom to knowing who you are or in the process of self-discovery because you let go of expectation and deal with reality. It's fun too. Happy making.

There are just so many people out there who are not happy right now and they take out their misery by trying to make other people unhappy - hence the uptick in my trolling. People stay coming for my faves and I have the skills to make them have a seat - so why not use them?

Besides it hones my wit and my clapbacks which I can then turn around and use in my stories. 

win win.

I lied before it seems.

It is good use of my time to troll.

Just this last month, we had someone trying to harsh Jared Padalecki's usually very mellow vibe, which led to a whole three days of #weloveyoujaredpadalecki trending on twitter and a campaign of giving to TWLOHA. 

That's what I call doing trolling right. 

Of course the troll still insisted that Jared was hating on her because his fans made him trend for three day because of her comments. *rolls eyes right off my head* 

Why are these people like this?

Jared is really helping me with the motivation to get fit. That, and moving to a house not on a hill and so easy to walk to and from. Also swimming pool. 

Not to jinx it but this is a good time in my life.

I'm even finding time to work on my book and my fanfiction. 

I don't know if anyone is still even interested in Marcus Devereux but that's not the point. 

I am interested.

I wanna see how it ends. 

If anyone else cares to come on the journey with me that's great. You're welcome and it's definitely worth it.

I've seen a lot of white authors on the internet today, complaining about Meghan Markle and her new children's book that is being released. Apparently her writing a book automatically negates the efforts of thousands of hypothetical authors and ensures they'll never be published. I'm guessing all these authors are white middle aged women with 80s hair, and unseasoned books about raisins in potato salad.

I snorted when I read that. 

Nobody can take your shit away from you. If it's yours, then it's yours. Nobody can come along and take that away from you. It's 100% jealously and anger that the Sussexes are not failing at their new life once they ran away from home. 

You know how it feels when you wanted desperately for people to fail and come crawling back to you and then they insist on prospering and not needing you at all? 

I hear it's painful. 

I think my neurodivergent ass is not capable of feeling such time wasting emotion or maybe that's just me but like I said, I'm enjoying the mudita of it all. I love to see people prosper without thinking it will impact my own prosperity.

Mudita? Look it up. Chrissy Teigen taught us all this word this week.

What does affect my prosperity is you buying into me, and my stories. I hope you can still do that even though I'm neglecting you as fuck.

I'm sorry, okay? I might be here a little less than I was, but I'm still here. Just expanding my repertoire a bit. I might even do a new episode of my podcast. 

Just coz.

Anyways, back to work. I hope this blog post makes sense.