The Tale of the Slap Heard Around the World

Hair

For those of us who watch Red Table Talk, it comes as no surprise that alopecia affects a good proportion of black American women. We might speculate on the cause of this but it would be nothing but conjecture at this point. 

We can however, see the results.

Black American women and men are very sensitive about their hair. So much so that alopecia is considered to be a disability. There is so much politics that goes into it that it is almost impossible for anyone without the lived experience to understand. I certainly do not. 

I do remember Wendy Williams talking about how a black woman should NEVER wear her natural hair on the red carpet, months before Lupita Nyong'o did it and somehow changed the game. (nobody talks about that little snippet).

I do remember Fashion Police making fun of Zendaya when she dared to walk the red carpet in faux locs. There was a lot of apologizing afterwards, allegations of racism, the Osborn girl leaving the show, etc.

So black hair is a sensitive topic. Chris Rock himself did a documentary named 'Good Hair' about it all. That's number one.

Infidelity

Now I need you to stop paying attention to the tabloids and start listening to people when they speak. Yes, both Will and Jada allowed other people into their marriage  during a period of time when they were unhappy. Both of them.

But somehow, Jada gets blamed for everything. The misogynoir is real. Will is the victim, Jada is the witch. 

Now I want you to imagine if you really care for this woman and you see her, day in day out, from her Instagram comments to show hosts on TV and on the red carpet, ragging on Jada only. Everyone looks at them and sees Jada as the villain. 

As women always are.

How long can you live with that, day in day out, before you crack?

Oscars and Comedians

The last Oscars I really enjoyed was the one hosted by Ellen. People say that she's mean but she was kind to everyone that night. Sure she made jokes, but they were not laughing at people, but laughing with them.

Too often, people's idea of a joke is to punch down on somebody for something they can't help. Oh look at the fat lard! ha ha ha. Look at the baldy, Hey GI Jane!

It's tired. It's played out. It's not funny. 

Dave Chapelle making fun of trans people in his netflix special wasn't funny.

Chris Rock making fun of Jada's lack of hair wasn't funny.

Did it deserve a bitch slap? Maybe. In this context, it's made us all take a pause and ask ourselves what we're willing to tolerate when it comes to being the 'butt' of people's jokes. A joke does not have to be mean spirited to be funny. That's what nobody seems to understand.

Twitter

Well, Will did something to Chris and twitter reacted. The nature of the reactions were very telling. We had the virtue signaling white men on there immediately revert to their native form. Judd Apatow called Will Smith a potential murderer. Doug Ellin and Richard Marx called him narcissistic. Michael Rosenbaum 'used to love him' until that moment. The mandingo energy was strong in those white streets.

Very telling.

Very very telling.

Then you have the D-list comedians who were like, 'you can't attack us, it's bad form'. Honey, if your jokes are insulting people, maybe you need to rethink instead of hiding behind 'bad form' whatever that is.

Black twitter was also divided. You have the "You can't misbehave in front of white people crowd," - DB Woodside and Ida B. Wells I'm looking at you. and then there were the, 'bUt ITs assAUlt' crowd like we don't see you on social media every day grabbing each other's faces and beating each other with closed fists, the domestic violence that is tolerated quietly until someone dies, the school shootings, racists of all stripes beating up people for being a certain color. The hypocrisy of the 'pretends to be shocked' crowd is the worst.

Then there were the defenders, mostly women I think, who completely understood what Will was doing. 

His job. 

Being the protector, the lion that will sit back until called to defend what's theirs. Too many times, women have been thrown to the wolves and their men sit back and allow them to be devoured. 

Will mentioned his mother in his acceptance speech. When he was a child, his father beat his mother and he froze. He blamed himself all this time for not helping her. When he saw a neighbor go into a child predator's house, he did nothing. He didn't call for help. He hid. These things have stayed with him. They've traumatized him. So you think he was going to freeze again? To let yet another woman in his care be attacked while he says nothing? 

Does nothing? 

Nah.

He did what he had to do, for his soul.

And so, for him, it was the right thing to do, at the right time, regardless of our discomfort or our opinions. 

Dis Tew Much

Ugh, I know! I have been neglecting my blogging duties.
Life.
You know?
In my defense, I haven't been updating my fanfic as regularly either.
And writing my stories?
Forget it. If it wasn't for me finding a new beta to read through The Post and push me to pay attention to it, I would be feeling really discouraged with myself right now.
It's just been one job after another.
Not that I'm complaining. $ is always a good thing.

 Which cover do we like? Should this be a poll? Imma make it a poll. On Facebook.

So...
It's been that kind of day when Twitter just went crazy and I need an outlet. So here I am on my blog not even writing about my books or my promotion but about gossip, I didn't even want to hear!
And I say again, ugh!

So first of all, +Jada Pinkett Smith was a drug dealer.
Did you know?
I didn't but somehow it doesn't surprise me. She hasn't quite lost her inner street thug even after twenty years with the King of Bubblegum. Opposites really do attract. I was watching Quad the other day and also Dear White People and thinking that the 'bougie' black people seemed really fake. Like they were all trying to be Joanne the Scammer and behave how they thought white people behave. (What does this have to do with Jada? Patience.)

Anyway, so I tried to think about actual black people who grew up rich and whether they behaved in that 'oh look at me I'm so cultured my voice barely goes above a whisper' way. And the most immediate example that came to me was Jaden and Willow Smith. Now I follow Willow on Instagram and she's somewhere between a fairy and a super-nerd but definitely not those Hilary Banks Wannabes. Hilary Banks felt a lot more genuine than they did. Anyway, so I thought maybe Willow and Jaden weren't the best examples being first generation nouveau riche and their mother being Jada who was clearly Street.
Anyway, I can't wait to read that book she's going to write.

From here on in, it just gets ugly so do yourself a favor and stop reading. Go read some wholesome fiction like this instead.
So Usher.
My fave.
Sigh.
Apparently, he infected his former wife's bridesmaid with herpes.
So much ugly in that one sentence.
I hardly know where to start. Okay, let's tackle the most important thing; Safety First.
Am I the only one who grew up with the ABCs of safe sex?
A - Abstain.
B - Be Faithful
C - use Condoms.
There was a D and E added I think later on but I can't remember what they were. These three though, they were bludgeoned into my mind. I grew up in the eighties and nineties when HIV was still a scary monster so it was really burned into my brain. It wiped out WHOLE VILLAGES in Luoland and Uganda. I guess the difference here is that people got infected maybe but didn't die as much in America so people get cavalier about having unprotected sex.
What the worst that can happen right?
Herpes is just the tip of the iceberg.
Gonorrhea is becoming incurable these days.
AIDS still kills.
But worse than dying from it, is living with it. I've worked in a pharmacy that served a lot of folk with HIV. Lots' of pretty people walked in and out those doors. Healthy looking, attractive, fit and HIV+. Can you imagine going out for a drink with your attractive self and trying to stave off everyone trying to shoot their shot but not being able to tell them why? Being attracted to someone maybe and being afraid to pursue it because you have a big disease with a little name? Or worse, pursuing it and facing the choice of infecting them or telling them and have them make the choice to leave you.
Life with a chronic disease is hard.
Some people have no choice about it.
Don't close your eyes and jump blindly into that life if you can possibly help it.
Oh and nowhere in the ABCs does it say celebrities are exempt.
I'm not even going to talk about sleeping with the fiance of your friend and then suing him when he infects you with a disease.

Speaking of choices, R-Kelly has been accused of having a cult and keeping girls against their will. Said girls were introduced to R-Kelly by their parents....
I can't even.
I am SUPER JUDGING ALL OF YOU.
Robert Kelly is a known pedophile.
A known pedophile.
He likes teenage girls to pee on him.
But here you are introducing him to your teenage daughter and then blaming him when your teenage daughter decides to volunteer for the R-Kelly harem.
Again, ain't nobody a victim here. Y'all are all making bad decisions. Own them.
It makes me think about this review I got about how Mya (in Child of Destiny) was wrong for getting in that situation with Leo; that she should have made different decisions. It's easy to judge a fictional character for fictional situations which reflect what happens in real life; but then in real life, we might be too afraid or whatever, to speak up.

Finally, but not really...
Kevin Hart.
*shakes my head*
There is allegedly a video of him and some singer from Miami, making out in a car.
Now I've never really liked Kevin; he's too thirsty for my taste, but...I thought this cheating thing was supposed to be about circumstances, not habit.
Whatever.
I hope they used condoms.