Self-Publishing Ain't for the Faint Hearted

I am on holiday right now.
Outside of my window, the dark blue swimming pool beckons.
Or maybe I could be taking a walk by the sea.

But here I am, sitting.
Writing a blog post about how goddamn difficult self-publishing is.
You know why?
Because a self published author is not only the writer, they're the publisher, the marketer, number one cheerleader, publicist, distributor...okay maybe you're not the distributor, but you gotta keep an eye on them if you don't want any surprises.
Basically, you're running a company in which you're every single position including bottle washer, maintenance, and housekeeping. It's quite exhausting and it never stops.
Just now, I'm tackling an issue that came to my attention purely by accident. I bought a gift copy of Erase and Rewind from Amazon in order to enter the gift card into a giveaway on a readers' site. I did so because of a Facebook post where someone was asking about book reviews and the site put a link in the comments.

(So yes, while you're innocently browsing your facebook or twitter, you might come across something you need/want to act on because IT NEVER STOPS).

Well I went to Amazon to get the gift card number and I get a very disheartening message:
This book is not available in your country.
So...
I wrote a book.
I published it.
But it's not available in my country.
I had already come across this issue before with Child of Destiny when my son tried to get it for his friend. I'd already spoken to my distributor about it. They dismissed as a technical issue which would be sorted out presently.
It's a month later.
It's not sorted.

I miss Pronoun like the desert misses the rain. They had an Author Happiness Liaison. Them closing down has definitely been a step back for the self-published author.
So
1. I can't get my gift card for the site until Amazon sorts this shit out.
2. The distributor should have had this shit sorted on day one.
3. I'm now wondering where else my book is 'not available'.
4. Sigh.
I'm supposed to be on holiday!
If I had even a smidgeon less passion for my writing, I'd shut this shit down and go dispense medicine.
Speaking of passion, I recently accidentally opened an author page group on Facebook. Seeing as I didn't want to just close it without thought, I left it blank for a while but now I think I know what I want to do with it. I want to write stories from prompts. Which the group members will give me. So I'm urging you all to go and join it here so you can ask me for the stories you want to read.
Have you gifted my boxset to the bibliophile in your life yet? Happy Boxing Day.

Have you had a similar experience? Hit me up and let's share solutions.

And Speaking of Karma...

It's been that week.
You know the one that has you wondering what you did to the gods to deserve this? Was it coz I said Tyrese is an idiot? I'm sorry...
So anyways, first of all, on the personal front, my dog had pups. Now, the thing is, the pregnancy was unauthorized as in fuck knows who the father is...But there it is, bitch got pregnant and we all just had to deal. So she gave birth sometime on Saturday night, to two pups much to the excitement of my son. Personally, I thought that it might be too soon because we just fucking noticed she was pregnant. Anyways, she gave birth to two on Sunday, then one more on Monday.
Freaky? You haven't heard the half of it.
On Monday night, the new one died. Maybe it was a stillbirth I don't know. I left all the midwifing to my son since he was so enthused.

The next day, I find one of the other two outside my kitchen door. Now it's too small to have climbed out of the nest my son made for them in a suitcase so I'm thinking someone carried it out and MURDERERDT it. My suspicions are of course on Becky, it's mother. As far as I know, there are no other dogs that come into the compound and Eagles don't fly at night...do they?
Anyway so there's one puppy left, I don't  have much hope for it now that it officially has The World's Most Negligent Mother. And my son left to visit his pops, so I'm all alone with Stranger Things 2 happening on my verandah.
So I wake up the next day and there's a new pup in the box. I don't know where it came from but Becky's behind is bloody.
Today I look in the box and the new pup hasn't moved. It might be dead. I really don't want to touch it to check. Where's my son when I need him? Damn shared parenting!

And then just for shits and giggles, Pronoun, my publisher sends me a random email on Monday informing me that they are shutting down and that I should take my books and fuck off.
Of course, their email was much more polite but that was the essence of it. Sooo, just when In Search of Paradise has gone live and I'm launching a new promo month, I have to unpublish all my books and shove off somewhere else...

Just to add icing on the cake, two blogs I was targetting to get interviewed on both call me this week like, "Hey! Let's do an interview!"
Yeah okay.
So my books are not available on my links, and not available to buy anywhere and these two people want to do interviews, one of which was gonna be on TV.
Sigh.
Well...had to postpone those, the TV one I don't even know, probably permanently and just wait patiently while my books get republished.
Icing on the cake?
Child of Destiny being blocked because of non-consensual sex.  On the very channels where it was for sale last week! I don't even know man. I'm appealing, it is under review. But just know that you can't find Child of Destiny anywhere at the moment.
Yes. I am crying.
Oh and don't think you've escaped because unlike pronoun, draft2digital is not able to sell books on permafree from Amazon, so if you want to download The Swamp is full of Mystery or Lunchtime Stories free, you have to go elsewhere. Or you can buy them on Amazon for $0.99
How has your week been?