Everything is Love is a Shadefest - A Review

I haven't memorized every lyric nor do I know the Carters well enough to know all the names they drop but still, after an (illegal) listen to the album, the only conclusion I can come to is that it's a shade fest.
First of all, let's start with Apeshit because I love it and there's a video out. To summarize for you what it says;
Fuck Trump
Fuck Spotify
Fuck the Grammys
Fuck the NFL
Fuck low concert prices
Fuck the haters
And fuck you too if you fuck with all those people.
In short.

Beyonce raps.
She's quite good at it even though I, personally, find her accent distracting.
Then there's Friends.
A nice politely juvenile song about how the Carter's friends are better than yours. This song not only shades Kanye but all of his friends too. I think there's a bit of Drake shade as well. I might be reading it wrong.
No new friends guys.
Nobody wants them.
If you don't' have old friends you're fucked.
Apparently, this guy (Kanye) who they're shading changes friends like halftime at the NBA. In short, a lot? I guess that fits with Kanye continuously cycling out team members and hanging out with people because of well, shall we say mutual dislike of Jay? Dame Dash comes to mind. But...not only do they shade Kanye but Kanye's friends too. What Chrissy and John do to them doh? Those are the only friends I know who are Kanye's real friends. Maybe they meant someone else?
The Kardashians?

Anyway, the shade doesn't stop there. They also shade themselves. There was some 'You really broke us' lyrics from Beyonce and...okay so Jay Z didn't shade her back as far as I can tell. So everyone but Beyonce got shaded.
Aside from that, it's some really good music. You can tell work went into it artistically. They also tried some new things and the visuals for Apesh**t are nothing short of stunning.
Of course, there's the usual fan obsession with the fact that JayZ cheated but if Beyonce is over it, why aren't you?
Probably because it's not about Jay but your own life?
Solve your problems.
Speaking of solving problems, I read this thread from a formerly abused woman, explaining why she stayed even after he did a lot of fucked up things. She explained that she felt alone and this guy made her relate to him and pledge her allegiance to him and she just clung to him because she didn't feel deserving of love.

Okay,  I see.
You stayed, you even begged him to take you back because you felt unworthy of love. But you loved him. And you wanted him to stay with you. I'm not hating. I just want you to see some of the lies we tell ourselves.
The truth is, that she was afraid of being alone. Because she ended with "I'm now in the most loving relationship I've ever been in."
Not "a loving relationship."
She felt the need to qualify.
Which tells me she's still bending over backward to be in a relationship because person B treats her better (maybe) than person A.
And that's the problem.
The focus is so much on the relationship and not personal growth. Jay and Bey are trying to show you personal growth and all you can see is wherever you are in your life. the cheating you're tolerating to 'be in a relationship.' Because God forbid you are ever alone.
Alone isn't the same as lonely.
How can you love and be loved if you don't love yourself? When Jay says black women saved him, he means they taught him what love is. Because he didn't know. You can't blame someone for something they didn't know. So black women saved him, doesn't mean YOU have to save whatever fuckboy you're dealing with. Save yourself first.
Always save. yourself. first.
I have work to do and a football match to watch. It's 1-1 Brazil vs. Switzerland so things just got thick again. Who are you rooting for?
When I said I was rooting for everybody black I didn't know that meant every team except Iceland.

Pearls of Wisdom...Or Not

Is it weird that all the original cast of 'Different Strokes' is dead except for Todd Bridges? Sometimes I have random thoughts like that. My head is literally John Mayer's Twitter account.
Like yesterday I was thinking that the description 'imagine if Erykah Badu and Andre 3000' had a baby, like to describe some gorgeous piece of music...or person. Then it hit me that Andre 3000 and Erykah Badu DID have a baby named Sirius Seven who is in Harvard I believe. Now imagine if he and Malia Obama met and fell in love and had a baby...

That baby would probably save the world from the apocalypse.
Speaking of the apocalypse...
Nah, no update, I'm struggling with choosing just the right cover and trying to finish a story for a client at the same time.
But back to Twitter. Back in 2010 when I joined and right up to about 2014 it was a crazy place in which crazy things happened. Trolls made mean jokes about Rihanna and stans clapped back. Rihanna interacted with people. Theories abounded about everything and gossip was the currency of the realm. Something was always happening.
Now...
It's all politics and oppression.
I guess the world has changed and twitter just reflects that change. But instead of a place you go to escape, it's a place where you get deluged by everything that is wrong with the world.

So yesterday I'm scrolling along, procrastinating instead of working and I come across a tweet by this blacktivist complaining about black men finding her too...It doesn't matter what 'too' it was. She was letting it affect her mood. Then just like two tweets later, is this other tweet by this other girl saying something like 'sorry my vagina's too good for you.'
Such different reactions to the same issue; men's insecurities.
Two tweets later an announcement: Tamar Braxton is leaving music to 'protect' her marriage.

And it made me wonder what it was that made some women so needful of men's validation that they would 'hide their light under a bushel' to get it. While other women are so aware of their true worth that they understand immediately that if you want me to be less than I am, that's a 'your problem' thing, not mine.
Is it upbringing?
Is it the voices of society?
In my own case, I certainly remember my mother doing her thing - I'm gonna use that word - irregardless of anyone's opinion including my dad's. Irregardless is NOT a word people. It's not. Is that why I don't need the validation from a male to just go ahead and do my thing? Did society not whisper in my ear? I'm betting it did, I'm just not real good at listening to other people's opinions about what I 'should' do.
So what to do about you unfortunates who require that validation sometimes at the expense of your well-being?
Or let's turn that question around.
Why do men feel the need for women to make themselves small in order for them to feel tall? Who is teaching them this bullshit? Why are their egos so fragile? Is it a natural thing or can something be done to make them better humans - for their own sake?
I ask these questions knowing that I have a son and I don't want him to have to choose struggle women in order to 'feel like a man' or else make a great woman feel small so he can feel tall.
I'm thinking about John Legend who wants his wife to be great in every way.
I'm thinking about Jay-Z who even with his cheating ass never stopped his wife from reaching for the stars.
I'm thinking of Kanye West who builds up his women, leaves them better than he found them.
side note: can we let Kanye gain weight without endless comment if that's what he needs to be to get better? Please. Stop with the snarky posts. The man is smiling, leave him alone.
What makes these men different from Hussain al Mana, Marc Anthony and whatever Tamar Braxton's husband is called. Who feel the need to control their women in order to feel better about themselves. What is missing from y'all that makes you like this?

Today, as your internet mummy let me give you some advice.
Never listen to anyone who tells you that you need to change to be liked/valid. They are fucking with you because they can. Because they are unhappy and wish you to be unhappy too. You are valid the way that you are. The energy at which you vibrate is perfect for you and if you are true to yourself you will find someone who vibrates at the same energy levels as you. Or you won't. Either way, you won't die.
Stop looking outward for happiness when it is found within yourself and nowhere else.

Another random thought that hit me is that dancers who get together seem to have just the right spark to make it through this quagmire that is life. Is it that it's easier to find your vibrational level when you're dancing together? Maybe. Dances used to be a way to find a lifetime partner, didn't they? These days people don't dance.
Unless they're professionals.
Anyway, Harry Shum Jr. and Shelby Rabara, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are two examples of dancer couples who are relationship goals.
Maybe look into dancing. :)
Hmm, I think I'm gonna make my gay African couple dance. Gosh, I have the best ideas!

4:44

You know I had to.
Well, first of all, I would like to apologize to Shawn Carter for not supporting his hustle legally. I copped the album off the internet. I didn't want to. But Tidal won't even let me sign in so what was a girl to do?
I didn't look for it.
Someone sent it to me.
As soon as Tidal becomes available in Kenya I promise to pay my $9.99 okay?
Happy?
Okay so let's get on with this synopsis already.

The Story of OJ

Obvs, this is the place to start. I am not a ni**a. I don't even feel qualified to say the word. But this song I feel still applies to me. 

Why you say?

Because at its heart this is a story about the powerFUL versus the powerLESS. And all of us have been one or the other at some point in our lives. We like to separate ourselves from people who we feel are 'lesser than' we are. We are better than them because...reasons.

- I'm more educated/intelligent/pretty/light-skinned/dark-skinned/rich/*insert own superiority a.k.a inferiority complex here*

And if you replace 'ni**a' with 'human', the message remains the same. At the end of the day, you're still a human, and people are still people and you're absolutely no better than anyone else.

So check your privilege.

Or more bluntly, get over yourself.

Highlights

I'm not going to go song by song but the story of OJ just needed its own fucking paragraph. The things that struck me about this album were manifold. I got the album after seeing lyrics on Twitter and I was intrigued by the use of language to make double and triple entendres.

In the future other niggas playing football with your son

Pregnant Pause...
Yeah, Hov also said 'pregnant pause' but this particular one is mine;

• See that sentence can be taken at face value.
• It can be taken as being about Future and Ciara's particular situation.
• And it can be taken as an example of what happens if you behave like Future did.
• Also, it could just be Shawn Carter's nightmare about losing his family to another man.

Levels.

In one. simple. sentence.

My Inner Creative is envious, inspired and applauding.

My Inner Sapiosexual is aroused.

Moving swiftly on...

"You almost went Eric Benet

Let the baddest girl in the world get away

I don't even know what else to say

Nigga, never go Eric Benet" 

 

I saw some comments on Instagram about how he should have referenced Carmelo Anthony because Lala is looking fine...

My eyes rolled so hard they almost fell out my head.

EVERYONE WHO IS UNDER 25 NEEDS TO SIT. THE FUCK. DOWN. AND REFRAIN FROM MAKING STUPID COMMENTS!

And then Eric Benet's responded with how he is with the baddest right now....

Oh honey...

Really? Who made you say that?
Whoever she is isn't even a consolation prize. Just take the L and sit quietly right there in the corner with the other men who failed to grow up in time.

Speaking of men growing up...

Guys? If you want a grown man, you need to find one in his late forties. That's what I'm getting from Kill Jay Z, Family Feud and Caught Their Eyes.
Late 40s people...
Is it sad to know or is it a relief?

Speaking of Caught Their Eyes

"I sat down with Prince; eye to eye,

He told me his wishes before he died,

Now, Londell McMillan, he must be color blind,

They only see green from them purple eyes,

They eyes wide shut to all the lies,

These industry niggas, they always been fishy,

But ain't no Biggie, no lazy eye, huh,

 This guy a slave on his face

 

You think he wanted a master with his Masters?

You greedy bastards sold tickets to walk through his house,

I'm surprised you ain't auction off the casket, 

First of all, R.I.P to Prince.
Secondly, shout out to my family for not being money grubbing leeches.
Thirdly...ouch. 

And then there was Moonlight...

Y'all niggas still signin' deals? Still?

After all they done stole, for real?

After what they done to our Lauryn Hill?

And y'all niggas is 'posed to be trill? 

This song appealed to me on three levels;

• The whole "Ni**a is you stupid?" aspect of it is my aesthetic. My inner intellectual superiority complex was alive. 
• As an artistepreneur and victim of being fucked by the so-called system, it made me want to find out of the box solutions to getting my product to the market. 
• As someone who is still kind of mad as hell that Moonlight was cheated out of their moment, I am cheerleading. 

And finally although nowhere near finally;

And old niggas, y'all stop actin' brand new
Like 2Pac ain't have a nose ring too, huh

I love that 2Pac is still the SI unit of gangsta-ness. The one true beacon in a sea of fakes.

Also, I'm going to need Young Thug to stop saying he's the new Tupac.

Seriously.

Because he isn't even close.

Can he shut up and sit down.

Now can we move on to the beat?

That jazzy, lazy, grown folk flavor to the album had me wanting to drink some cognac and smoke a cigar in a blue-lit jazz bar while the band plays and Hov speaks to me from the stage. As I listened, I was feeling like, "this is an instant classic" and then I read that No I.D had used a lot of beats from classic songs to produce it and I was like, "Oh, that explains it."

It's very easy on the ears.

And then there's Bam.

It reminds me of 99 problems. It has that same feel of being inside the baddest version of yourself and letting everyone know it. Also apparently I really like reggae these days. Is it Rihanna? Is it Bob Marley? Or is it my dreadlocks?

Whatever it is, I'm rocking out!

We gotta finish this off with some Hov shade. You know what time it is...

Becky With The Good Hair: An Adaptation

DISCLAIMER: The characters depicted in this story do not belong to me. They are real people who belong to themselves. I am not making any money from this story. It's written purely for enjoyment.

Beyonce glided into the breakfast room in her peach lingerie and rabbit slippers, stopping momentarily as she saw that Shawn was already there.

“Good morning honey in the sunshine”, he said without looking up from his iPad.

“Good morning my sun and stars”, she replied, her voice low and throaty like honey over oatmeal, “And how did you sleep?”

Shawn smiled, “Very well”, he said, “This new memory foam is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Beyonce smiled, “Better than the weed inhalers?” she asked with a lift of one brow.

Shawn’s smile widened, “Okay, it’s in the top five good ideas. And you my honey in the sunshine? Did you sleep well?”

“No oga”, she replied with a sigh.

Shawn put his iPad aside, “Why?” he asked as he leaned forward, all his attention on her.

“I consulted the loa”, she said her voice low and heavy.

“You did? why?”

Beyonce gave him a look like he should absolutely know, “What was the last award I received?” she asked.

Shawn leaned back in his throne, nodding in understanding, “So? What did the loa tell you?”

“Well first thing, it has been a while since you offered libation. Do not forget to offer some honey rum and chocolate”, she said with an inclination of her head toward Papa Legba’s altar.

“I’ll do it right after breakfast.”

“You better, otherwise he might require blood sacrifice the next time you need something.”

“Okay but tell me what the loa told you that caused you to lose sleep.”

Beyonce sighed, “It’s about my next album”, she said reluctantly.

“Oh? What about it?”

“Something gonna have to happen before I can release it.”

“And what is that honey in the sunshine?”

“You go have to cheat on me oga”, she said.

“I beg pardon?”

“Yes. You have to cheat on me Shawn. Otherwise I won’t be able to make my next album.”

“But…Bee. The baby? What will she think if she find out later? What will everybody think?”

“Mschew! Oga you question the loa?” she demanded, half standing from her throne.

“No of course not. The loa is always right. But who will I cheat with?”

“Shawn I am very sure you have at least five hundred numbers in a little black book somewhere you can call.”

“Honey in the sunshine, I burnt that book the day you agreed to be mine.”

Beyonce let out a peal of laughter that echoed off the high ceilings. Her thin unlipsticked lips were stretched in a wide smile showing her small perfect white even teeth.

“You are funny my sun and stars. Dig out your black book. Pick a number.”

The smile disappeared from her face, and her expression was serious and uncompromising. Before Shawn could say anything else, the clear loud crystalline voice of their daughter rent the air, singing one of her favorite songs; whip my hurr.

Blue ran into the breakfast room and straight into her father’s arms.

“Hi daddy. Can we go to the zoo today?”

“Not today honey. Uncle Kanye and I are going to a boring boring meeting. After that, daddy will come get you from school and we can go get ice cream. How about that?”

Blue Ivy’s face fell, “Okay. Though auntie Gwyneth said ice cream is bad for you.”

Shawn and Beyonce exchanged glances and Shawn barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes, “Do you not want ice cream then?” he asked.

“No! I want ice cream.”

“Good. Then we’ll go get some. And we’ll keep it secret from Auntie Gwyneth.”

“Okay papa. Love you.”

“Love you too Code Blue.”

Beyonce lifted up the juice jug, condensation forming where it widened from the narrow mouth, “Lemonade anyone?” she asked.