Curse!

So anyway, I've been in the process of preparing Child of Destiny for publication in the midst of the craziness that was August and also trying to catch up on my work. This is one book that has been edited and combed over and argued over...I almost killed one editor for his pedestrian and outdated views on who and what Mya 'should' be. But finally. Finally. It was time to upload it. I certainly didn't expect that after all that there would be any problems...

Man was I wrong.
First of all, smashwords tells me that my book is not correctly formatted. So I sigh deeply, pick up the manuscript and reformat it.
I upload it and have barely turned away from the computer when it tells me that, nope. Not evenly formatted; plus it fails epub check. Now if you've ever gotten that message, you know that specifics are thin on the ground. There is no specific 'error' which would cause failure of epub check. Its just a bunch of miscellaneous drivel that nobody but a computer could get. So I just fucking reformated the whole fucking document and resent it. So yeah, you assume that everything was fine after that right?

Wrong.
So now, apparently, my document did not CONVERT well. So what if my document is formatted correctly. The conversion came out wrong. I am at a loss as to what I'm supposed to do about that frankly. My manuscript is perfect; all formatted. But when its converted it gets mucked up. Of course smashwords tells you the problem, but doesn't tell you what to do about it. Stalemate.

And now they've postponed my release date on the strength of that...#headache.
I need input from y'all.

Uploading Your Ebook: It Can Be As Frustrating As Fuck

I'm exhausted. I finished my manuscript yesterday, thought about getting it critiqued further on scribdophile but then felt like I absolutely did not have another edit in me. So I shrugged my shoulders and began the process of uploading it on smashwords absolutely FILLED with excitement at how the story had turned out.

I upload it for the first time and it was smooth sailing until they emailed me to say, hey...we can't have you advertising other sites in your books. The distributors won't like it. I sigh...I have to go and remove all references to where a fellow author advertising in the flap of my book had put in her locations for where to buy her book.

That done, I re-upload the document. But wait, now it refuses to convert to kindle and epub. Bish whet?

Eight times I tried to upload; it rejected it every time. I tried contacting customer care but they have a 72 hour turn around time and I'm impatient as fuck. I tried removing the ad for the other author's book; I tried changing formats...no joy. It was sooo frustrating. At some point I considered just giving up on smashwords and going to lulu. (I actually did go to lulu) but I love smashwords; it's so hassle free. Ha ha! did I say hassle free? It was...

I finally go to bed having done nothing all day and night except try to upload this book and angst. When I wake up there is an email from smashwords waiting, telling me I'm running behind schedule on uploading my manuscript to fill the pre-order requirement. Now this makes me want to cry because I'd messaged them continuously asking for help with no reply. Nevertheless, I reply to apprise them once again of the problem and this time I get an answer. This is day two; I'm supposed to be doing other work but I'm still trying to upload my stuff...

Finally I get help from 'Kevin' from customer care. He tells me to remove my Table of Content tabs, any images (from the other author) and page numbers.
 'But I need a table of contents' I say.
 'Watch the youtube video  on how to insert one' the FAQ replies.
So I watch the video and make the corrections and voila! At last, 48 hours after I've started the process, The Swamp is Full of Mystery is successfully uploaded. And I need a drink.