Monday, 29 February 2016

Leo Won An Oscar

I feel like my work here is done... Okay, no I don't but it's like a major achievement of mine personally that this has happened. I haven't even seen the +Oscars yet. Just scrolling through my twitter feed and facebook page and every single post about the Oscars is either about Leo winning or...Leo winning. It's kind of an anticlimax though. Like we just wore the Oscars down with our perpetual disapproval and they wanted to appease us seeing as they are doing so badly at everything lately. Still.
I'm still salty though. He totally should have had one ten years ago.
Meanwhile +KanyeWestVEVO went from letting +Kim Kardashian make all his pronouncements on social media to bombarding us with his presence. It's not an improvement. Nobody needs that much Kanye in their lives. Like seriously, can +Twitter please just listen to Kim and suspend his account? He's made me rethink my posting habits too. I think something that's even a little funny and I feel the need to post it for the world to see. Now, I'm like What Would Kanye Do? Then I pause. And think. Does anyone need to know about how I'm dancing around in my super short shorts and inventing a new dance to Desperado on +Rihanna's Anti while I find the fastest way to rustle up some cooked food? I mean...does anyone except potential stalkers really need to know that? Ain't nobody interested bih...
Also this week, the site where I publish my books, sent me a lovely promo pic for Child of Destiny. It tells you where my books are available and shit. I was stoked because I've been trying to think how to get all the sites in one place and failing. Yay Pronoun.

And's the 29th of February which only comes around every four years. If you're a Celt, you can ask your man to marry you today and he can't say no. Good luck with that. I've been bombarded lately with examples of just how far women will go to get that Mrs. in front of their name. I've been pondering why that would be because I likely wouldn't be able to parade around in my short shorts doing choreo for Desperado if I was under some man's disapproving stare. It always puzzles me why men feel threatened when a woman is a free spirit. Anyone have the answer? Free copy of Child of Destiny to the first person with an answer.

Friday, 19 February 2016

Krays vs. Winchesters

I'm realising I have a 'brothers who are inappropriately close' kink. If I was to psychoanalyse the whys and wherefores it might get sad and maudlin and I'd really rather concentrate on how happy it makes me when brothers just go out of their way to stay close. I watched +Legends  for the second time when my kid came home for half term. The first time I was too busy collapsing with impressment on just how phenomenal Tom Hardy was in that movie. The second time though, I got the subtleties better. The homoerotic, psychological and physical co-dependence they displayed reminded me of another couple of brothers on TV I fell in love with.
Sam and Dean Winchester

The +winchesters .
Then I just read that Ronnie Kray wrote a book in which he stated that since his brother was a homosexual and he was bisexual but they lived in the sixties and didn't want anyone to find know how homophobic gangsters are; anyway, so in the early days, they only had sex with each other. real life.
Ronnie and Reggie Kray

I mean I enjoy a good +Wincest story as much as the next fangirl but there's always the assumption that it's just a story. This isn't a story. Okay it is; the movie didn't exactly imply the whole homoerotic co-dependency but it's like the +Krays could really be the inspiration for the +Winchesters. But instead of a life of crime, the Winchesters chose to hunt +Supernatural creatures.
Tom Hardy and Tom Hardy as the Kray Twins

Much as its kind of eww to think about, it is also a fact that people are attracted to their relatives that's why you find that people have a 'type'. If I may use one example that everyone can check; if you put +Rorrey Fenty   next to +Chris Brown or even +Drake you're going to see a resemblance. Maybe it's the familiarity. I don't know. I haven't done the studies; maybe I will when I have a minute.
Of course it doesn't explain my intense attraction for +Jensen Ackles or +Tom Hardy but maybe it's not about what colour you are; or maybe they are just too insanely handsome to be resisted. Personally I think that it's a sapiosexual attraction. it's not just the handsome faces; its the talent, it's the way that they impress me with their work. Their wit, Tom's hands and mouth, Jensen's eyes, his bow legs, his badassery; both their can go on commercial break while I gush this could take a while.

I wrote about incest in The Swamp. It wasn't by design though; I was just as surprised as anyone to find that those two were having sex. Sometimes a story leads you down a path you didn't expect and you're like, 'Oh, is that what happened? Makes sense...'
It's free right now so cop it while you can. It may not be free forever.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Truth in Advertising; People in Glass Houses

Like any creative, I crave acknowledgement of my work. Acknowledgement that says to me, "Kudos, you did good kid."
I think we all want that. I know this from how my son brings every little thing he does to me with a "Mom look what I accomplished." And then he looks so pleased when I say, "Good boy."
It's amusing sometimes. Other times it makes my heart melt into a little puddle on the floor.
Best job ever.

Anywho, back to awards. I've been thinking about those; what they mean, how much the recipients are deserving of them...Because when you get that accolade, you want it to be deserved right? you want it to be your just reward.
That's why its so disillusioning when you realise it's all political. That there is always an agenda behind it. We are all in France in 186-whatever and these prize givers are Marie Antoinette and her hoard of royals. It's cheap entertainment to prevent us from realising we're all starving and they're all out of touch and are wondering why we don't all eat cake.

It's not just the +GRAMMYs or the +Oscars even the +Nobel Prize has it's own agenda. That's why +Nelson Mandela  had to share his Nobel with +Jacobus Fredrick De Klerk. He went to jail for twenty seven years to pay for his people's freedom...and de Klerk let him out. But somehow, that sacrifice was considered to be equal in the eyes of the Nobel committee. Our very own +Wangari Maathai  was the first African woman to receive the prize. But why did she receive it? Not to take away from the importance of her work; but if we are talking women who have impacted Africa and/or the world in positive ways...well I'm sorry I wouldn't have chosen the woman who planted trees. Trees are important. The environment is crucial to our health and happiness. But still I wonder; was that the reason she won? What was the end game? For sure there was an end game. +Barack Obama also received a Nobel Prize. Why? For being the first black president of the United States? I feel like that's a flimsy reason. This is a PEACE PRIZE no? Pope Francis doesn't have one does he? Because if there is anyone who embodies the idea of keeping the peace and getting along...

It's not just about prizes and who gets them and who doesn't. It's mostly about how people see other people and measure their worth and how people react to that. +BeyoncĂ©  was called 'racist' for her #Formation video. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it's racist for black people to want equality. To want to be treated like human beings? I mean who does that? King +Kendrick Lamar succeeded her as most racist black person after his Grammys performance.

Gaaawwdd forbid anyone shine a light on what's going on right in front of your faces.
Then that Tomi person who decided to accuse +JAY Z of being a drug dealer because wow, white girls like Beyonce and there she was being all black and shit. Then she called the +Black Panthers  terrorists thereby giving us a glimpse behind the iron curtain of white supremacist bullshit. The funny thing about that word.
Nelson Mandela and the ANC were terrorists at some point.
So was Jomo Kenyatta and the Mau Mau.
The Black Panthers were born in a time of segregation.
Terrorists to some. Freedom fighters to others. It depends on whose writing the history.

It makes me wonder about Al Shabab and ISIS or ISIL or whatever. In someone's perspective, they are freedom fighters I guess. When I think about how they came about; from abandoned people, left to fend themselves in war zones. Terrorised by those in power. Perhaps they simply became their enemies.
Maybe if we were better at seeing both sides and having actual conversations instead of trying to be right all the time...
So, I'm gonna try and see why +Taylor Swift deserves album of the year with that bullshit album about how Katy Perry stole her back up dancers...okay, I can't do it. It's the politics. They gave the award to the whitest white girl in the building to counteract 'black creep' that's permeating every aspect of the entertainment industry. You can tell that they are because of how increasingly boring award shows not attended by black entertainers are. I read this article in +Rolling Stone or somewhere about how it's always a surprise when the right person wins an award. The worst part is that nobody cares.
So now that I've made everyone mad, here's a book. Buy it.

Friday, 12 February 2016

This Isn't Bragging; It's Updating

I recently moved my books that are not priced free to a new publishing platform in addition to smashwords. It handles distribution to Amazon, Google Play, iTunes, Barnes and Noble and Kobo. I'm finding that people prefer to shop at Amazon than anywhere else because that was the fastest turnaround I've seen in publishing to first sale since I started self publishing. least for my paid books.

For the free ones, I'm happy to say that The Swamp is Full of Mystery was in the top ten highest downloaded books on free within a week of my posting it. Which is great. I love it. The more exposure the better. And the fact that people are choosing to download my book, among the however many thousands there are on the site?...Awesome.

There is another book of mine that is doing really exceptionally well on all sites it's on. It's a real puzzle to me because first of all, the story is like...eight pages. I wrote it in about half an hour for a competition (I haven't heard back from them and I can't remember the results date or even the site); and I decided to post it because why not? And now it's been on free ebooks like for five minutes and a hundred people have downloaded it. I am truly stymied. There is just no predicting this shit.

I'm thinking maybe I should expand it to a full fledged novel. Just go to pacemaker and make out a six month plan for writing and editing. I don't know. Do I have more story? Of course I have. It's like, a given at this point. The question is, do I want to write it? I'm in the middle of Child of Destiny - Marcus Deveraux which I've kind of put aside to concentrate on work and promoting the other books first; kind of get the momentum going....

So hit me up if you've read it and let me know what you think I should do.
The story is called Cinderella By Any Other Name.

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Gratitude Post

So I transferred my books to a new publisher and they are doing like a thousand times better than they were before. I am very stoked. I think back to when I was signed to a traditional publisher, and the fact that however few or many books they sold, they never paid me a cent. And now here I am, a year later, having done soo much better on my own. Does it make me regret that year and a half that the publisher had my book?

No, it does not. Why not you ask? Because I consider it as the price I paid for knowledge and experience. I know better now; I wouldn't have if I hadn't gone through what I did. So yeah; sold some books, and I'm feeling grateful.

I want to thank everyone who reads these rambling posts of mine, who clicks on the links, who reads the previews, who +'d them or reblogged or commented. I am grateful for the attention. If you went ahead and actually bought a book and read it, honestly THANK YOU! Do come back and talk to me, tell me what you thought.
Otherwise, really, have a nice day, month and year; if you believe in God, may he bless you. The force be with you if you don't...

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Rude Things I Never Get To Say Out Loud

Sounds of knocking...

Annemarie: (ignores knocking; continues to surf instagram)

Persistent knocking.

Annemarie: (looks up) "Yes? Do you want to come in or what because there's only one toilet seat in here."

Person outside the door: Shuffles away.

Annemarie: Mutters to herself about brain dead individuals.

A bus is calling for passengers so Annemarie gets in and sits down. Person comes to sit down next to her.
Person: Excuse me, is this bus going to random place?

Annemarie: "I came in here same as you. The conductor is over there. You know, that guy who you passed on your way over here? He would know."

Person: "Oh. okay."


Annemarie walks down the street minding her business. Man dressed in clean clothes and shoes comes up to her.

Man: Madam, could you give me ten shillings please.

Annemarie: Its against my religion to give able bodied men of any kind money.

Man: (comes a bit closer with body language implying he's doing me a favour) Please, just ten bob.

Annemarie: (Walks away because I don't repeat myself.)

Okay, that one I've actually done. More than once. What is up with men and asking random women for money? Where's the lion pride? Where's the self respect?

Annemarie: Ugh, now I have to do something nice to make up for all the mean. I know, cop a free book.  Your reward for reading all the way to the end.

Monday, 8 February 2016

Creativity Defined

Have you seen +BeyoncĂ©'s new video for Formation? I think it had been up about thirty minutes before all those who 'stay woke' were writing think pieces about the fact that she likes her man's nose 'Jackson 5'. The whole thing to me is severely ironic because +Michael Jackson destroyed his whole face trying to make his nose look sharper than a toothpick. I mean...

And then the very girl no sorry, woman, who's singing is perpetually in a blonde wig, nobody's ever seen so much as a follicle of her natural hair or even her natural personality but this is the embodiment of black power. Like...someone explain.

I'm not hatin'. I love the song. It is a great song. And the video is definitely interesting with a lot of socio-political messages...Just. If you're so proud to be black, why not live it? Michael Jackson dyed his skin white, but 'he would never want a white person to play him in a movie'. He has white kids...What's that they say about actions and words?People are free to do whatever; be whatever, say whatever. It just makes me sad how everyone else latches on to these epitomes of insecurity and self unrespect and say, 'wow. yeah. our heroes.'

Well they're not my heroes so its no skin off my nose. It's just really makes me sad.
And I'm not just saying this because  I saw on twitter that these same 'stay woke' twitivists were coming for the goddess +Rihanna in comparison to show just how ah-may-zing Beyonce is. Rihanna who is 100% herself all the time, short hair, long hair, wigs, bald head, plaited hair; she goes there. And looks fabulous while doing it. She's the epitome of 'I am not my hair' by just about having the most fabulous hair at all times, in all styles, regardless of what you think. But this is not a Rihanna vs. Beyonce thing. It's more of a stop looking for outside validation and love yourself without Beyonce having to sing a song about it thing.

Speaking of being your best self, my son was just home for an exeat which simply means he was let out of school for the day. We were discussing his education and the possibility of attending summer school in the States for two weeks next year. The program requires that the child have done some sort of internship where they helped the world in their chosen field. So I asked him for suggestions on what ways he could help the world in his (current) chosen profession. The answers that he gave me further emphasised to me WHY THE FUCK he needs to do this internship. It was all about getting it 'right'. Finding the right answer so you can get those two marks at the end of the question.

The problem with creativity and ideas is that there is no right answer. There is passion and belief and opportunity and a lot of ever loving work. There is not giving up and believing in your product and giving it 110%. 8-4-4 doesn't teach that. 8-4-4 teaches students to be drones that churn out the correct answers when asked. I don't know how to rescrew my son's mind so that he can think beyond the right answer. So that he can 'have the answers!' unlike +SwaysUniverse. I hope he gets this internship. And I hope it opens his mind to greater possibilities. I hope it doesn't take him thirty five years to find his ideas like it did his mommy.

Thursday, 4 February 2016

When Truth and Reality Clash; What is a Girl to Do?

So remember all that twitter drams from last week? Well, Petty Wap Wednesday pretty much continued to this week. I thought I should really do a follow up article about it for those non-twitter savvy associates of mine who rely on me to know what’s happening in the world. But then I figured that E!News had it covered. Today I wanna talk about something adjacent but at a tangent to that and that is Reality vs. Truth.

So Amber and Kim made up or took a selfie with each other I should say. The rest is simply conjecture after all and attributed to some ‘source close to’ which could mean Amber called E! or they made it up. Anyway, they took a selfie after last week’s beef. And everyone had an opinion. Personally I just assumed that Kim felt bad about Kanye mentioning the children especially after Amber talked about it on the radio; maybe she saw that Kanye really felt bad but he didn’t want to reach out to Amber because History. So she did it instead like the good wife she is. Or else she felt like Amber could spill worse tea than that and her body wasn’t ready for that so she nipped it in the bud. Or…Mama Jenner said lemons into lemonade me girl. This is ratings gold. Get her in here and let’s film this for season 12. All of which made sense to me together or separately. In any case whatever was happening was no skin off my nose.

Then I’m going through Instagram and there is just this anger over the pic like +Amber Rose  and +Kim Kardashian  have betrayed someone by taking a pic together. People called it attention seeking behavior, oh, Kanye cut a check, oh oh oh…it was even funnier than the whole saga. People take this shit so personally its not even funny. I’m all for escaping reality but we must all remember that these are real people; this isn’t Real Person Fanfic. You can’t dictate their actions; you can only watch and eatcho popcorn.

Speaking of reality TV, my hero +Milan christopher  announced this week that he might be bisexual and might find love in the arms of a female after all. Huh? I mean, we were right there with you when you were calling Miles a fraud for pretending to be bisexual for TV and now you’re doing the same thing? I mean I’m all for finding love wherever you can as long as only consenting adults are involved; but seriously? From one week to the next you go from flag bearer of the rainbow flag to maybe I my love is a woman? I’m so conflicted. My mind says bullshit even as my heart wants this to be a genuine quest to find love. Oh well, time will tell; or at least season finale of season 3 of +LHHH  will tell.
Speaking of genuine quests for love and escaping reality, I was woken this morning by an IM from my self confessed number one fan. She’d just finished Child of Destiny and wanted to gush at length about it. Now just like any creative, I am a sucker for gushing at length so I woke with a huge smile on my face. Not just because she said it was a great book, but because she got it. She got the reason why there were as many love scenes as they were (or is that sex scenes? Porn?) because they added that necessary element to the story (I TOLD YOU GOD DAMNED EDITOR – I! TOLD! YOU!).

Anyone who’s had to deal with an editor that wants to chop out all the good parts can relate. I loved that she went from judging Leo to wanting a man just like him, I like that she got all the little things. It made my heart warm with mush and happiness and validation. I knew these characters were something special. And now someone else has said the words to me, I know its not all in my head.
So anyway, anyone else having a good day?