Showing posts with label I done messed up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I done messed up. Show all posts

Monday, 3 August 2020

The Art Verzuz The Artist

Hello, happy new month.
How are you doing?
I've been in an 'I wish a nigga would' mood otherwise known as 'four-five seconds from wilin' almost all July. Let's see how August goes. 

Anyway today I'm here with some confessions.No justifications, just admitting my transgressions and willing to take my punishment. 
This is how it began. I was watching - okay objectifying - Freedom Williams as I ate my supper, really enjoying the fact that for all their videos, C+C Music Factory had Freedom shirtless but the girlies were fully dressed. Such a refreshing change. Also, the nineties had much less of a problem with colourism in their music videos. Really Freedom was the only light-skin in Gonna Make You Sweat.
It was beautiful. 
I love his voice and his way of moving and just well...everything.



Of course, once I was done, YouTube suggested other videos to watch and the King of Pop was right there. It's been a while since I listened to Dirty Diana so I hit the play button. 
Now the way that video is set up, it just really makes you realize that Michael Jackson was a rock star. I was sitting there wondering if I might have fallen on the ground and cried and fainted the way that people used to do for him. And I cannot say that I would not have. His charisma is quite compelling. The thing with Rock Stars though, is that they had a lifestyle which did not include going home to the wife and kids after the curtain fell. No, it involved sex, drugs and rock n' roll. Everyone had their own tastes but nobody was a boy scout. There were no innocents in the rock star culture.
Michael Jackson just happened to be caught. 
Now I am not saying I don't believe his victims. If there was a way I personally could help them come to terms with what happened to them, of course I would. But I cannot so I ask myself, what does it help anybody if I cut myself off from this music? His music isn't just an earworm, it's part of my formative years. It's evocative of times and places that I hold dear in my heart. Am I to throw it all away because the artist was not well-behaved?
There's a thread going around twitter comparing Ludacris to 18th-century German composers like Bach nem. And it's clear that even those guys had their major flaws. But nobody 'cancels' their art because the artist was problematic.
So yeah, Dirty Diana is one of my all-time favourite songs. It stays on my playlist.


Now MJ is the King of Pop and people might excuse me for still listening to his music because well, y'all get it right? But this next guy...I have no excuse, except to say that he made some great music and he was always the problematic fave. You got used to thinking of him as a troubled man who alternately sang about his sexual perversions and his mother. Kind of like a crooning Tupac but without the social justice messages.
In my defence, that was until I saw the documentary. Then I stopped cold turkey. Still do miss singing 'So Hot We On Fire' though.

As an honourable mention, Black is King just came out and one thing to be said about Beyonce, she's an excellent mimic when it comes to dancing. When she performs African dances, she gets it exactly right. Of course, you can see that it's very precisely done, very choreographed, which is not at all how Africans dance. The smoothness is missing. Nevertheless, it's the closest I've ever seen an African American come to doing it right. There is nothing that truly separates Africans and African Americans like how they move their bodies. Still, Beyonce comes very close almost. She's a savant when it comes to dancing.
Speaking of Dancing Savants, I also very very occasionally watch Chris Brown videos - not Chris Breezy let's be very clear - Chris Brown. Mostly from his album Fortune (had to look up the name because my brain doesn't hold space for CB trivia anymore) because it reminds me of the days when twitter and tumblr were wild for entirely different and more interesting reasons. The glory days are behind us indeed. We've all grown up now.



All of this to say that perhaps we should stop putting artists on a pedestal because their art is exceptional. We're all human. J.K Rowling is brilliant but apparently, she believes Trans Women shouldn't exist. Not even in a live and let live kind of way. I mean considering the subliminal messages in the Harry Potter series about oppression, it's really quite surprising. But we all have our blind spots. For some it's trans women, for others it's sexual deviance. 
For some, it's just being mean, while preaching kindness like Ellen. When we don't let people be who they are, they're forced to build personas and then we feel betrayed when 2020 exposes the real person. Having decided that everyone's problematic, me included, I'm going to enjoy what I enjoy without imposing moral imperatives on the artist.
Kanye excluded that is. Such selfish jerkery is apparently where I draw the line.

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Is It Too Late Now To Say Sooorrry?

I did a bad thing yesterday; I betrayed a confidence. I didn't do it on purpose mind - I thought the person I was telling was already generally informed on the issue we were discussing and...we were just discussing it with a view to finding a solution/way forward. But apparently the person whose confidence I betrayed didn't see it that way. Her stand is she told me something in confidence and I should have kept it that way.

I find myself having these internal arguments with myself about it. I get that she's mad at me, and I told someone something she didn't want them to know. I get that. I apologised. But deep inside I gotta admit I don't feel like I did something wrong. And I've been on the other side of this equation many times. I've been the one who feels betrayed about someone telling something I told them, so I should know better. I should feel bad. But I don't. I find that I have this 'but...' 'but I...' thing going round in my head, trying to justify what I did.

And it's like I'm also an objective third person, watching myself struggle with the fact that I should feel sorry and I don't at the same time being aware that I did something wrong. Also I don't want to stop helping the person whose confidence I betrayed. I want to help her with her issue because I can. But I also don't want to force my presence on her and try to make it seem that I know better than her what is good for her. I have this cousin see, who does that. She tells you what she thinks should be going on with you and what you should be doing about it and it's really by the grace of the God I'm not speaking to right now that I haven't shanked her. So I don't want to be her. But I also think that this girl is over-reacting.

And I feel bad for thinking that because hey, I BETRAYED A CONFIDENCE. Even if I didn't do it on purpose (there I go with the justifications) I still did it. And she should be able to be mad about that if she wants to be. But I'm thinking she's missing the big picture here. Which is the why we were even discussing it in the first place. It wasn't for idle gossip, or malice or just passing information. We were trying to find ways to make it better for her and in the course of doing that...I BETRAYED A CONFIDENCE. So I'm kind of in that place where I don't know what to feel. Should I be sad? Should I go about my business and hope that she comes around? What should I do?

It's like today's episode of +Supernatural . Life is just crazy on so many levels.
In other news I'm thinking about changing my Child of Destiny cover...here's a sample of some designs I'm looking at. Please say something.