Imma Let You Finish But Ah...

Ugh, I do not like TayTay one bit. It pains me to put her in my space. I've muted her name on twitter so I don't get any updates on her and her so-called new album. Still, some things still manage to get through. And they're giving me thoughts and they demand analysis and since that's what I do, let's all try to be majorly objective and examine what makes Tay Tay so abhorrent these days.
A long time ago, when your fave and mine were still babes in the wood, Taylor was a country singer who performed in white cotton dresses and bare foot on stage. That was after she won that VMA instead of Beyonce and Kanye interrupted her speech.
By the way, the evolution of TayTay cannot be talked about without the evolution of Kanye being mentioned. They're like that zodiac sign; Yin and Yang.

Pun unintended but completely appropriate. They do seem to represent the battle between black and white art as well. Taylor is the quintessential White Girl. She represents everything that that demographic embodies for the arts (and life)...and more and more as the years have gone by since that fateful VMA, that representation has transmogrified itself into White Girl Victimhood.

And then there's Kanye, "typical boorish black man." Attacking the pure white as snow innocent guileless, kind, gentle white girl. Making her feel bad about something that is Absolutely Not Her Fault...

Anyway, we were chronicling history in order.

So she was performing barefoot on the stage with just her guitar and appropriate lighting. So forgiving, letting Kanye know that he was better than that. Everyone, including me, thought she was so gracious and grown up considering how much older Kanye is than her.We all called Kanye a massive asshole.
You know who else called Kanye a massive asshole?
Kanye.

Kanye performs Runaway at the VMAs

When the VMAs announced that Kanye would be performing 'for the first time since...!' well, I was expecting an apology song. You were too right? Something like an answer to Taylor's 'you're better than this' song.

Well, this was Peak Kanye so what we got instead was 'let's hear it for the assholes and the douchebags'. Depending on what type of day you were having, it could either sound like a 'sorry I'm an asshole' or 'fuck you'. 

Personally, I think it was the latter. 

Didn't know how to feel about it at the time. I mean you can't hate on a guy who's self-aware. That shit is just too rare nowadays. On the other hand...I thought we were playing nice.

Well time passed and Taylor's 'Kanye did me wrong' sad face morphed into John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles, that Schwartzenegger kid (did she really buy a house next door to him? creepy), a Jonas brother, Calvin Harris...fest of these boys did me so wrong. 

*cue feminists saying we shouldn't victim blame*

white feminists.

The thing is she has time to compose songs about some boy she went out with for two weeks claiming he broke her heart. Really? Should you even be able to remember his name? That's not a boyfriend. that's a ship that passed in the night. How sad are you that you have the energy to not only write a song about it but perform it with drama queen level emotion?

Then there was the fake surprise at every award she won.

The "Taylor Squad" that was simply Taylor fulfilling some fantasy of being one of the "cool kids". Of course, the real cool kids had no time for her so-called squad and I think that was the real turning point for her.

Meanwhile...while all this was going on, the whole Kanye/Taylor incident had achieved Pop Culture Iconic status mainly due to Taylor's inability to let it go and exacerbated by everyone else also making a big deal about it. It started with Chelsea Handler hoping someone else would interrupt someone on her stint as VMA host. Then "Imma let you finish" just blew up, Kanye Shrug is a thing, and then 'Where the hell is Kanye when you need him?' became the mantra of people feeling that someone had gotten an undeserved award...

By the way real talk...In a perfect world, that Single Ladies video would have won hands down. Kanye's sentiment was correct, it was his execution that needed work. On the other hand, pop culture iconic moment.

She built herself into this thing that she could not sustain. She wanted to be seen as the nicest, sweetest most popular, coolest, humblest, girl on the planet who just seemed to meet the worst people who wanted to take advantage of her and make her life difficult.
And when all else failed, she could always milk that Kanye bit a bit more. Poor old me.
Meanwhile Kanye just tryna live.
So he calls her one day, and because Kanye is Kanye, the whole thing is being filmed and asks ever so nicely.
"Can I say some really rude things about you in my song?"
And she laughs and says "Sure! the gag is, the press will eat it up and think we're fighting again and it will be great and I'll have soo much attention and everyone will love me."
Kanye like "Cool beans."
So he releases the song and he gets bile for it and then Taylor did what Taylor does and...wait for it. Drum roll.
Plays the victim.
Now Kanye about to let her get away with it but his wife ain't having that shit because now she's seen behind the mask and she's determined to CSI that bitch into the ground.
"We have video," she says...
And the rest, as they say, is Snapchat history.
*cue snake emojis everywhere*

And now she's back, still playing the victim card, still coming for Kanye. "Look What You Made me do" she says. and then releases a teaser video which is apparently a Lemonade rip off.

(I have to put a disclaimer here: Haven't heard the song, don't intend to.)

Uh uh boo boo, ain't nobody made you do nothin' honey. You did it all yourself.

and that's why I personally do not like this woman. She doesn't own her shit.

Reviewing the Week

So I woke up this morning to +Meryl Streep and her +Golden Globes Awards speech.
I legit cried.
I don't even know why I cried. Was it Kerry Washington's face as she listened? Was it the fact that Dev Patel was born in Kenya? Was it all the acceptance of everyone that one hears so rarely in her speech? Maybe it was the words; maybe she just said all the right words in the right order and it just reached into my heart and tore it out.

You judge for yourself.
Of course there were those who tried to bring their negativity with the classic "33k emails deleted!" and "Hollywood liberals!". Some of these people saying these things are said to be 'celebrities' but I don't know them *Mariah Carey voice*. I think the best thing to do with such negativity is to bury it in a slew of positivity so that they don't see the light of day.
Meryl's speech was such a breath of fresh air after a beginning of 2017 filled with lots of stupidity.
Let's see, first of all there was +Drake Aubrey Graham and +Jennifer Lopez with their Instagram-and-paparazzi relationship that they're flaunting...

I don't know what they're hoping to achieve with that but you know, good luck or whatever.
And then we have the epically idiotic battle between +Chris Brown and +Soulja Boy about....ummm. I don't actually know.
Soulja Boy has been a long time Chris Brown fan. Always wanted to be like him and shit...It was cute in a very creepy kind of way. So some time recently he tweeted that Chris wanted to beat him up for liking a Karate Kid pic on +Instagram. Of course, Chris, KNOWING it was stupid AF still responded with more vitriol and nonsense.
Bish Bam Boom, they're fighting each other. So Mr. Messy and Interfering +50 Cent saw an opportunity to make money and decided to host a boxing match featuring...in the red corner...

Bhris Brown

And in the blue corner!

Soulja Boy

It's so asinine that I've been trying to ignore it. But then they dared to bring my queen into it. Apparently Karate Kid wasn't enough, they had to bring her name into the mix; probably so that more outlets would report it.

If you want to generate any kind of publicity for yourself what do you do. 

Say her name.

It's sooo. freaking. annoying. Bringing up something that happened in 2009 because it's the only way that people will watch you? Perpetuating lies about her which are so easily verifiable as untrue. I almost signed up for that fight to beat them both up. Even with Floyd Mayweather and Mike Tyson as trainers I feel confident I could take them.

Anyway, never mind me and my hero worship.
Have you read Erase and Rewind yet?
Here's a preview.

Telling Yourself Stories

Let me begin by telling you a story.
So there was this man hunting in the woods, he came across a tiny baby poison snake whose mother had died of bullet to the head. The man was going to pass by but the snake pleaded with him to stop.
"Please help me", it said, "I'm all alone. I need you."
And the man shook his head resolutely and turned away, "If I help you, you'll bite me." he said.
The snake reached out to him, "No I won't! I swear. I'll treat you like my mother and father. I would never hurt you."
So the hunter sighed and said, "Okay then. Come home with me."

So the man took the little poison snake home. He fed it, nurtured it, gave it a place to sleep. They lived together happily for some time. Then one day, the man reached for a hot poker to stir the fire in the cold winter months and startled the snake. Quick as...well...a snake the snake lashed out and bit the man on the arm.

As he lay dying by his fire, the hunter looked at the snake all betrayed and said, "Why did you do that? You said you'd never bite me."

The snake looked at his dead keeper sadly, "You knew I was a snake when you brought me home" it said.

THE END.

Now boys and girls, who can tell us the moral of this story?

And why did I choose to share it with you today?

It's about choices y'all.

I was surfing through my +Instagram this morning when I came across a post on baller alert of +Robert Kardashian in his feelings because, he says, +Blacc Chyna left him and took all the baby furniture. His voice was all shaking and shit and I was inclined to believe she actually left. 

So I was like "Aww tooo bad. And with your 'baby special' airing soon and all, it must be hard." and then I moved on with my life.

Not two minutes later, a screenshot of a post by Blacc Chyna appears on my timeline saying that yes, she did in fact leave Rob's ass because he's a bipolar, emotionally abusive baby and she's sick of it. Especially since he 'promised not to be like Tyga' (I'm paraphrasing heavily). 

So she has two kids with struggle baby daddies and she's starting all over again. Once again.

Two things I want to say before I get with the harsh reality:

1. I have come to really respect Blacc Chyna. She's strong, intelligent and has a good heart. At least as far as I can see. She made the best of her life when she didn't start out with many aces in her deck. 

2. I can't remember what the second thing was.

Now to harsh reality.

She knew he was a snake when she brought him home.

Let me tell you a little something about weak ass men and single moms. Just as a warning in case you haven't figured it out.
When a man sees that a woman is a passably good mom, that she looks after her child, puts him first, shows up as a parent; he immediately extrapolates all that love and attention to himself and he wants it. He wants that woman to look after him too. Trust he'll be proposing within weeks of knowing you. And he will want to have a child with you, like right now!
Why?
Because the child is a guarantee that you'll never leave. At least that's what they think. And once they have you they start emotionally abusing you so you feel worthless and maybe not leave them for somebody better. Because they want you to believe you don't deserve better.
You're allowed to believe this bullshit once.
But twice?
How many times people? What is your count? I'm guessing it can be deduced by how many kids you have by different baby daddies.

I'm sorry.
But I'm not.
Somebody has to tell you and I guess I've designated myself den mother.
Stop it.
Stop choosing the same type of guy over and over.
Stop telling yourself that this time will be different.
Open your eyes and see who the guy is, or girl.
See them, and make a decision with your eyes wide open.
Not your eyes wide shut.
Please.
The only stories you should be telling yourself are the ones you're writing that will hopefully make you some money.
And I'm not saying you can't date a weak ass little boy if you want. Just go into it knowing what you're doing.
Remember in 2012 when +Rihanna gave +Chris Brown a second chance? (I hate to even bring it up but it's like the most perfect example) And everyone was trying to tell her what to do? What did she say?
"If it's a mistake, it's my mistake."

She didn't say "I love him and we're gonna be happy and you're just trying to break us up because you're jealous..."
Yes I'm looking at all a y'all who say such things with a straight face.
She saw who he was and she was giving him another chance because she accepted that this is who he is and she still wanted to take the chance on him. Of course when she discovered that no, she didn't really want to deal with all this bullshit, she was out.
So was Chyna.
So I commend her for knowing when to look after herself first.
But let's not make the same mistake a third time. Please.
So many new types of mistakes to make. Let's try one of those.

Let Me Educate You

I don't care about +Gigi Hadid and/or +Zayn Malik. Like seriously, not even a little bit. But +E! News keeps acting like I care whether they're together or not and giving me updates on what's happening. I can't help knowing. So apparently Gigi wants to be an excellent girlfriend but Zayn is acting all uncommunicative and shit. "Her friends are telling her to leave him alone", but Gigi wants to get back with him if he would just behave.

 In spite of She's Just Not That Into You (or was it he?) we still insist on telling ourselves stories don't we? We like to tell ourselves that these guys are misunderstood, or they don't know what they're doing or they just need someone to love them enough or they're sad. Whatever pathetic story you need to tell yourself to justify hanging on to some guy who is treating you like shit, who knows he's treating you like shit. And doesn't care because treating you like shit works. It keeps you on your toes, always looking for ways to please him; to find +DJ Khaled's magic key to happiness if only you just persist. If only you don't abandon him to the cruel world which has made him like he is. If you just persevere.

Do you mind if I laugh?
Just a little bit, not a lot.
Now back to Zayn Malik. He's a bad boy. The genuine article. Not a +Chris Brown bad boy who is really just an immature gentleman with no impulse control and a bevy of women willing to throw themselves at him. No.
That kind of boy just needs a strong woman who will take away his phone, tell him to shut up, sit down and behave.
Nor is he a bad boy like +Columbus Short who is just really some guy with mental health issues and poor decision making abilities.
No.
Zayn Malik is the real thing. He chooses the girl because she's 'nice', she wants to be needed, she wants to be loved. And then he pullllaaaayyys her like a violin. He does this thing where when he's present, he's super attentive, he holds her hand, he introduces her to his friends, he makes her believe she's the only one he can talk to about his troubles. He lays his head on her breast and lets her comfort him...
Then he fails to return her texts. He disappears for days at a time or weeks, or months. He goes quiet.
She's left anxious.
What's wrong?
What did I do?
What can I do to make it better?
While he sits and watches her anxiety levels ratchet up; just waiting for the right time to swoop in and be the perfect boyfriend again.

It's all you making a hundred percent of the effort, a hundred percent of the time. And you don't even realize it because you're too busy wondering what you did wrong.
Listen to me.
I'm a savage.
The real deal.
So I know how these minds work.
I watch them, I shake my head and I move on.
But then I realized recently that just because I learned how bad boys operate doesn't mean that everyone does. Some people still go on believing in these games waay into middle age.
I write romance stories; and when I can, I try to make the guy as realistic as possible. Leo is a guy you can meet in the streets. He's flawed, he's immature, he's selfish...but that's not all there is.
It's maybe possible to connect for real with the bad boy.
But only if you don't play his games.
Ask Mya.

The irony is that you can only win if you don't play and you can't play at not playing. You honestly have to mean it. You can't pretend disinterest, you actually have to be disinterested. It's the bitter irony of dealing with bad boys. You can't win, unless you actually don't want to play.
My suggestion is, be happy and stick to your weight class. If you're a nice girl, look for a nice boy who will treat you right, always remember your birthday and want to meet your mama.
Leave the bad ones to Erykah Badu. She knows when to call Tyrone.