The Art Verzuz The Artist

Hello, happy new month.

How are you doing?

I've been in an 'I wish a nigga would' mood otherwise known as 'four-five seconds from wilin' almost all July. Let's see how August goes. 

Anyway today I'm here with some confessions.No justifications, just admitting my transgressions and willing to take my punishment. 

This is how it began. I was watching - okay objectifying - Freedom Williams as I ate my supper, really enjoying the fact that for all their videos, C+C Music Factory had Freedom shirtless but the girlies were fully dressed. Such a refreshing change. Also, the nineties had much less of a problem with colourism in their music videos. Really Freedom was the only light-skin in Gonna Make You Sweat.

It was beautiful. 

I love his voice and his way of moving and just well...everything.

Of course, once I was done, YouTube suggested other videos to watch and the King of Pop was right there. It's been a while since I listened to Dirty Diana so I hit the play button. 

Now the way that video is set up, it just really makes you realize that Michael Jackson was a rock star. I was sitting there wondering if I might have fallen on the ground and cried and fainted the way that people used to do for him. And I cannot say that I would not have. His charisma is quite compelling. The thing with Rock Stars though, is that they had a lifestyle which did not include going home to the wife and kids after the curtain fell. No, it involved sex, drugs and rock n' roll. Everyone had their own tastes but nobody was a boy scout. There were no innocents in the rock star culture.

Michael Jackson just happened to be caught. 

Now I am not saying I don't believe his victims. If there was a way I personally could help them come to terms with what happened to them, of course I would. But I cannot so I ask myself, what does it help anybody if I cut myself off from this music? His music isn't just an earworm, it's part of my formative years. It's evocative of times and places that I hold dear in my heart. Am I to throw it all away because the artist was not well-behaved?

There's a thread going around twitter comparing Ludacris to 18th-century German composers like Bach nem. And it's clear that even those guys had their major flaws. But nobody 'cancels' their art because the artist was problematic.

So yeah, Dirty Diana is one of my all-time favourite songs. It stays on my playlist.

Now MJ is the King of Pop and people might excuse me for still listening to his music because well, y'all get it right? But this next guy...I have no excuse, except to say that he made some great music and he was always the problematic fave. You got used to thinking of him as a troubled man who alternately sang about his sexual perversions and his mother. Kind of like a crooning Tupac but without the social justice messages.

In my defence, that was until I saw the documentary. Then I stopped cold turkey. Still do miss singing 'So Hot We On Fire' though.

As an honourable mention, Black is King just came out and one thing to be said about Beyonce, she's an excellent mimic when it comes to dancing. When she performs African dances, she gets it exactly right. Of course, you can see that it's very precisely done, very choreographed, which is not at all how Africans dance. The smoothness is missing. Nevertheless, it's the closest I've ever seen an African American come to doing it right. There is nothing that truly separates Africans and African Americans like how they move their bodies. Still, Beyonce comes very close almost. She's a savant when it comes to dancing.

Speaking of Dancing Savants, I also very very occasionally watch Chris Brown videos - not Chris Breezy let's be very clear - Chris Brown. Mostly from his album Fortune (had to look up the name because my brain doesn't hold space for CB trivia anymore) because it reminds me of the days when twitter and tumblr were wild for entirely different and more interesting reasons. The glory days are behind us indeed. We've all grown up now.

All of this to say that perhaps we should stop putting artists on a pedestal because their art is exceptional. We're all human. J.K Rowling is brilliant but apparently, she believes Trans Women shouldn't exist. Not even in a live and let live kind of way. I mean considering the subliminal messages in the Harry Potter series about oppression, it's really quite surprising. But we all have our blind spots. For some it's trans women, for others it's sexual deviance. 

For some, it's just being mean, while preaching kindness like Ellen. When we don't let people be who they are, they're forced to build personas and then we feel betrayed when 2020 exposes the real person. Having decided that everyone's problematic, me included, I'm going to enjoy what I enjoy without imposing moral imperatives on the artist.

Kanye excluded that is. Such selfish jerkery is apparently where I draw the line.

Let's Talk About Sex

So before we begin, please go and read this preview if you haven't read the book.

Finished?
We all on the same page now?
Let us discuss.
So, clearly, the sex in the excerpt is non-consensual yes? We are all in agreement about that fact. Today I was confronted not for the first time about the fact that Mya continued to interact with Leo in spite of the fact that he essentially raped her. Whenever people speak to me of Mya in this way there is this tendency to have a judgemental attitude about her. To denigrate her choices. There is the implication that 'If that was me, I would never have acted like that'.
That's fine.
We all have that hubris.
Especially when it hits us where we live right?

This is not a post about judging people or apportioning blame. 

Leo forced himself upon Mya.

 Mya wasn't expecting it. She kind of froze and didn't fight back. Does that mean she's complicit? As someone who has been in that exact same situation, I have to say no. Sometimes you just don't know what to do, how to extricate yourself. You're young, you're innocent, nobody has given you any instructions on 'what to do in the event of...' So you might just freeze inside and let whatever is happening to your body happen and then hopefully you get to walk away and deal with it in the privacy of your safe space.

Other times, you don't get to run away and deal because the guy doesn't leave you to it. He comes back. He wants to do it again. He figures if you're letting him you don't mind. Meanwhile, you have no idea what to do and nobody to ask.

It's kind of a major breakdown in communication.

Yes, I see you guys at the back side eyeing me and saying 'That would just never happen to me. I would speak up. I would absolutely be wonder woman and drop kick that guy into 1999.'

Like I said...hubris.

In real life - and I say that not just from personal experience but from conversations I have had with other people (both male and female) - that's not what happens.

So yeah Mya might dissatisfy you for not living up to your expectations of how her story should go. She lets you down by dealing with shit the way she does. She lets you down because she is you.

Isn't she?

Then there's Leo who comes off as 'Major Asshole'. But then you get a glimpse into his life and you realize he has no role models either. He has no one to show him how to treat a significant other. He's feeling his way as he goes. 

Who do we blame for this cluster fuck?

I have a question. How many of you have ever had a conversation with your parent/guardian and/or as a parent/guardian about how to treat your significant other? About how to handle overtures of a sexual nature when you're not ready for it? How to take rejection? How to ask permission? I mean you watch TV shows and read books and someone just suddenly kisses someone else, no, "May I?" no, "Hey can I kiss you?" 

Just leaning over and doing it.

And if they are rejected it's a whole other piece of drama full of tears, upset or abuse. It's like you're entitled to be kissed back if you kiss someone. Even if you didn't ask. So there's kind of a mixed message.

Nate Parker and them are punished for forcing themselves on women, but the message that is being sent out there is that if someone comes on to you, it is rude to say no. So in the harsh reality of the moment what happens when you're torn between this two messages.

Am I supposed to submit?

Or am I supposed to resist?

Can I even resist?

What should I do?

Meanwhile, as you hesitate, the other person is carrying on with the groping and the touching and the taking clothes off. Then it's too late. Now you really don't know what to do next.

There is a cognitive dissonance between what 'should' happen and what 'does' happen. And Leo and Mya are about what 'does' happen. And how people deal with it in real time.

I had a conversation today about this topic with a reader. She was supremely unhappy with how the characters were portrayed. And that's okay. You should be upset. You should feel dissatisfied. The question is, what are you going to do with that feeling?