Self-Publishing Ain't for the Faint Hearted

I am on holiday right now.
Outside of my window, the dark blue swimming pool beckons.
Or maybe I could be taking a walk by the sea.

But here I am, sitting.
Writing a blog post about how goddamn difficult self-publishing is.
You know why?
Because a self published author is not only the writer, they're the publisher, the marketer, number one cheerleader, publicist, distributor...okay maybe you're not the distributor, but you gotta keep an eye on them if you don't want any surprises.
Basically, you're running a company in which you're every single position including bottle washer, maintenance, and housekeeping. It's quite exhausting and it never stops.
Just now, I'm tackling an issue that came to my attention purely by accident. I bought a gift copy of Erase and Rewind from Amazon in order to enter the gift card into a giveaway on a readers' site. I did so because of a Facebook post where someone was asking about book reviews and the site put a link in the comments.

(So yes, while you're innocently browsing your facebook or twitter, you might come across something you need/want to act on because IT NEVER STOPS).

Well I went to Amazon to get the gift card number and I get a very disheartening message:
This book is not available in your country.
So...
I wrote a book.
I published it.
But it's not available in my country.
I had already come across this issue before with Child of Destiny when my son tried to get it for his friend. I'd already spoken to my distributor about it. They dismissed as a technical issue which would be sorted out presently.
It's a month later.
It's not sorted.

I miss Pronoun like the desert misses the rain. They had an Author Happiness Liaison. Them closing down has definitely been a step back for the self-published author.
So
1. I can't get my gift card for the site until Amazon sorts this shit out.
2. The distributor should have had this shit sorted on day one.
3. I'm now wondering where else my book is 'not available'.
4. Sigh.
I'm supposed to be on holiday!
If I had even a smidgeon less passion for my writing, I'd shut this shit down and go dispense medicine.
Speaking of passion, I recently accidentally opened an author page group on Facebook. Seeing as I didn't want to just close it without thought, I left it blank for a while but now I think I know what I want to do with it. I want to write stories from prompts. Which the group members will give me. So I'm urging you all to go and join it here so you can ask me for the stories you want to read.
Have you gifted my boxset to the bibliophile in your life yet? Happy Boxing Day.

Have you had a similar experience? Hit me up and let's share solutions.

Story Envy

So I was reading this story on archive, about a boy who nobody remembers. Now when I'm reading a book and it's exceptionally good, I get this feeling in my chest of awe or respect. Not really sure how to describe it.
When I'm reading fanfiction and it's exceptionally good writing, I just get envious. Like seriously, why don't I have those skills? It's crazy.
I don't want to be envious. I don't like ugly emotions. But I can't help myself.
So this story about this boy who nobody remembered five minutes after he is out of sight; it was really good. But I don't recommend it. The reason I don't recommend it is that even if you're a writer, it won't make you jealous.
It will traumatise you.

You know those stories which grab you and pull you so deep into someone's mind set that you become that person? So much so that you feel like what's happening to that person is happening to you? That story was like that. It was not a happy ending. In fact, it was a regular Charlie Foxtrot. (I just figured out what that is!)
Well anyway, as writers I believe that's what we're all aiming for. To make the reader care excessively about the characters, so much so that they manage to totally escape their own lives and catapult into the universe you've created.
If this is at all something that's happened to you while reading any of my books, please do let me know.
Like...seriously.

It's father's day today. So I'm gonna tell you guys about 'The Bulitia Story' also known as Requiscant in Pace. Bulitia was my dad, and the main character in this novella is named after him. They share a lot in common; strength, resilience, fortitude, cunning...but my dad was never a slave and he wasn't put on a ship or nothing. I don't know about his encounters with the supernatural. One time, we were watching football; I think it was Euro20whatever, and it was Greece vs. Italy or something. In any case, Greece was the underdog.

Well as usual, my dad had fallen asleep on the chair and I think we woke him up talking about how Greece was going to be slaughtered. And he got up to go to bed and said "You know what? As long as my fist is closed, Greece is going to win the match."
And we were like, "Sure Daddy. That's going to happen."
Guess what happened.
Greece won.
It was the freakiest thing.
Maybe dads are all prophetic? I don't know.
Ali was. About his boxing.
I'm just gonna put that under the 'mysteries' box and get on with my life.
I have a BDSM story to write so I'm gonna get on that.
I really don't get how pain is pleasurable though.

http://bit.ly/RIPbookpage