Showing posts with label happy new year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy new year. Show all posts

Friday, 1 January 2021

Going on a Trippin Trip

 Dear Diary,

This is so embarrazzing. I don't know what I was thinking. Okay, that's not true. I do know what I was thinking. I wanted to get away from them.

My parents.

They're constantly bickering about petty shit and even now, when we're here in this perfectly picturesque place, they can't stop for five minutes. I tried to go to my room, shut them out but their voices are too loud and this Airbnb is too small. So I got into my dad's stash of weed brownies and ate a whole one. I thought it'd make me too high to pay attention.

Boy was I wrong.

Instead of floating me off to cloud nine like I'd seen it do in the movies, it just enhanced everything; sight, sound, hearing, fears, anxieties, insecurities...I felt like I was drowning in every thought I'd ever had. I had to get out. So I climbed out of the window and ran.

Yeah I know, we're in the middle of a damned National Park, there are animals and shit, and I ran out into the wilderness at dusk. 

Stupid stupid stupid.

On the bright side, my senses are so overwhelmed with so many sensations that it's hard to focus on just one. So I push away the anxiety and instead marvel at the way the light falls on the leaves in the trees, the wind soughing through them, making them sway in a way that almost communicates something to me. Like they're commiserating or warning me.

I know I sound like a crackhead, leave me alone. 

Suddenly there's a ummm, a boy? in front of me. He's really dark-skinned and all muscle. I know because he's wearing nothing more than a piece of red cloth tied at the shoulder, his chest is mostly on display save the multicoloured beads that crisscross it. His legs all long, lean and muscled are also on display. He's wearing black sandals that seem to be made out of the same rubber as car tyres. 

He's holding a stick and surveying me as if I'm the exotic thing around here.

I scramble around for the little Kiswahili I'd read in the travel brochure. "Er, jambo...?"

His lips twisted as if he wanted to smirk but was restraining himself. "Unafanya nini hapa?" he said.

"Er..." to be honest, Jambo is the only word I know. My dad is from here but he emigrated to the States years ago and he didn't bother to teach me his local language. Or rather, from the many fights my parents have, I guess it's a clash of beliefs. My mother believes that we should grow up as Americans and not try to integrate any other cultures, while my dad goes along with it but resents the fuck out of her because of it.

So here I am, somewhere in the Maasai Mara and I can't speak the language. I am in so much shit!

The man? boy? huffs before saying, "What are you doing here?" in perfect English.

I won't lie, I was taken aback. I mean yeah I've seen the Twitter memes making fun of how much Americans don't know about the rest of the world but I truly was not expecting to find a...relic of another age who could speak perfectly to me in my language.

Don't tell me how stupid I am. I know.

"Er, I'm lost I think. I'm staying at Chui House, d-do you know it?"

The male specimen nodded.

"Er, I'm Angela. What's your name?" I had to stop calling him man-boy.

"Letoya."

"Oh. Hey Letoya." I smiled nervously, waving my hand at him like a dork, "It's nice to meet you."

Suddenly there was a huge shadow looming over him. My eyes widened in shock and I looked up to the shadow and then down to Letoya, wondering if I was tripping balls or he could see it too. He remained unmoved which was worrying on many levels.


"Er..." my voice shook with fear, "Is there er, an elephant behind you?"

Letoya just smiled and then pointed to the north, "If you follow this path, you'll find the lodge. It's not far."

"B-but...the elephant...?" I stretched my shaking hand, pointing at the huge shadow behind him.

"She will not harm you. Go."

I just continued pointing and shaking. She seemed to fill the entirety of my vision, coming out of the mist like an avenging angel. She could kill me with a swish of her trunk. My knees were weak, I doubted they could support me for much longer, let alone let me walk.

Letoya made an impatient sound and the next thing I knew, I was hoisted over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, bouncing up and down as he strode down the path he'd directed me to. I kept my eyes on the elephant who seemed to be watching the whole scene with something like amusement. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I felt as if I could see every wrinkle, every whorl, every crease, every blemish in her flesh. She stood out from nature like a god, and I, a worm that did not deserve to look her in the face. 

"Oh God," I murmured, "Have I lost my mind?"

Letoya put me down and turned me around and I saw the place we were staying, looking serene in the soft rosy evening light, no sign of the strife that awaited me inside. I turned to my rescuer. "Thank you."

He nodded before turning and disappearing down the path and into the mist. I blinked a few times, looking around and then I began to wonder if I'd imagined the whole thing.

I turned to the house, still unsure of anything and everything. Out of the night, came a loud trumpeting which seemed to echo along the hills. My head jerked around, limbs flailing before I tripped over my own feet. 

I sat on my ass, in the dirt, breathing hard. "Fuck. I am so high."



I promised my Instagram followers a story on the first of January based on the pic of the elephant. And here it is. Enjoy. Accompanying podcast to follow. Click on the link at the top of the page to listen.

happy new year!


Thursday, 2 January 2020

Happy New Decade!

Hi guys.
Congratulations on staying alive and seeing this new decade of the millennium. I see a lot of people recapping their year on Instagram and I am blown away because I can hardly remember what I did last week. I do remember quite clearly, the last significant New Year; that of the turn of the century. I was pregnant as fuck, and my mother was apparently quite afraid that Y2k was real.
Everyone else was out or away but I was way too pregnant to do anything except hang around waiting to give birth so my mama and I were watching TV.
It was either a marathon of 24 or a marathon of La Femme Nikita; I'm not sure which. Anyway, it was midnight, and my mother ran off to get the bible for some reason. I did my best not to laugh at her but it was truly funny. I don't know what she expected to happen.
Anyway, so...that was my last clear memory of a New Year's. I think we spent last new year's with my sister and her family. Or was it the year before.
Getting old is super crazy.
So...
What comes next for us?
One thing I've learned from all the "this was me in 2009" vs. "this was me in 2019" posts on twitter is that I should take more photos. So that's something I aim to do more of in 2020, especially since my new phone has an excellent camera.
The next thing I've learned is that I am a lot faster writer than I give myself credit for. My problem is procrastination. Imma try to do less of that if I can. Or at least, timetable my procrastination so as to leave a little time for actual writing.
One thing I know for sure is that I am currently at full capacity with work and trying to write novels as well is biting off more than I can chew. But I can write short stories and submit them to magazines. I can do that.
Achievable goals. That's my thing for 2020. No grandiose ideals, no lofty plans, just crumb by crumb and we'll build a mountain.
The most important thing though is to make time for the people I love. My son has bare time for me; he has his phone and his friends. He has school and various households that require his presence on a regular basis. But when we are together, he needs to know that I am present. I'm proud that I made an effort in 2019 to attend functions I was invited to; I'm going to try to escalate that into proactively seeking people out for lunch, or coffee or just talking. However, that goes both ways and it'd be nice if people sought me out too. Otherwise, you just feel like a nuisance.
Finally, I undertake to have at least two major blog post per month; quality over quantity. I pledge to step up my content, make it even more edutaining. So, Happy New Year everyone. Whether you go big or go home, or take it one tiny step at a time; your dreams are valid.

Saturday, 19 January 2019

Keep That Same Energy, 2019...Or Not

It's theoretically unforgivable of me to let half of the first month of 2019 pass me by without a single post. I'm going to show myself out now, nail myself to a stake and set myself on fire.
Or maybe not.
There is only one of me after all and the demands on my time are myriad. I used to bend over backwards to try to satisfy everyone's wants and needs; but 2019 is all about me baby. I'm putting myself first this year. And that means, doing what's best for me.
I think that if we all did what was best for ourselves, we would all be happier and therefore not demand so many things from other people. It also means that when we decide to do something, we don't half ass it; you get me?
What do you think?
Just because I was doing me, doesn't mean 2019 wasn't keeping 2018's energy and in fact, taking it to supernova. Let's see, in just these two weeks we have:
 - watched Surviving R. Kelly and been confronted with our own complicity in enabling this man and men like him to continue preying on vulnerable women. We have watched with disappointment as the people who should be most vocal in defending the right of those girls and women to be treated with dignity and respect, instead heap vitriol and hatred upon them. Black American women y'all. At the forefront of defending the R. I have watched with disgust from the mountains my guys. Y'all need help.
- Kenya underwent yet another terrorist attack where nothing definitive is ever said about who is really responsible, how many were killed, or injured and how it even happened in the first place. My neighbor lost a brother-in-law and various people on my Facebook timeline lost friends. It seemed that either Nairobi is a very small place or the death toll might be larger than advertised? I don't know. We'll probably never know. Of course everyone immediately wanted to start blaming Somalis, ostracizing them, oppressing them...human beings sometimes make me so tired.
- The President of the United States was caught breaking the law. Again. However, watch whiteness work. He's still president. They're still reluctant to impeach. I don't know if they see it but I predict that in ten years they'll be just another failed state at this rate. And they'll bring it all about because white must remain right at all costs. It's sad.
- Well that was fast. Mr. I-am-so-different-from-Mugabe-whatever-his-name-is has cut off the Internet in Zimbabwe so as to properly oppress his people without the world knowing the details. The world still knows the details because there is only so much information suppression you can do. These despots never learn. What is the African Union for exactly?
On a more personal front, the world's most disorganized book launch continues. I've had some feedback from advance readers, they seem to think that more story would be good. Which brings us to the question of the day;
How much story is too much?
Because obviously this story is the kind that contains a myriad of tales in between its pages. We could go off on tangents for like, ever. But do we want that? Or do we want it stripped raw and naked, laid bare for us to behold?
I am prevaricating as time continues to run out.
Anyway, my next post will be entirely Cinderella related. We shall begin the launch, officially, with style, pomp and ceremony. However, she's already available for preorder so click on the link and get that done. Start the year right.
Meanwhile, I shall continue with my various jobs, hopefully meet the first friend my son has brought home who didn't live next door and watch Fantastic Beasts. Are you going to have a good rest of the day?
Make sure you do.