Saturday, 23 September 2017

Pearls of Wisdom...Or Not

Is it weird that all the original cast of 'Different Strokes' is dead except for Todd Bridges? Sometimes I have random thoughts like that. My head is literally John Mayer's Twitter account.
Like yesterday I was thinking that the description 'imagine if Erykah Badu and Andre 3000' had a baby, like to describe some gorgeous piece of music...or person. Then it hit me that Andre 3000 and Erykah Badu DID have a baby named Sirius Seven who is in Harvard I believe. Now imagine if he and Malia Obama met and fell in love and had a baby...
That baby would probably save the world from the apocalypse.
Speaking of the apocalypse...
Nah, no update, I'm struggling with choosing just the right cover and trying to finish a story for a client at the same time.
But back to Twitter. Back in 2010 when I joined and right up to about 2014 it was a crazy place in which crazy things happened. Trolls made mean jokes about Rihanna and stans clapped back. Rihanna interacted with people. Theories abounded about everything and gossip was the currency of the realm. Something was always happening.
It's all politics and oppression.
I guess the world has changed and twitter just reflects that change. But instead of a place you go to escape, it's a place where you get deluged by everything that is wrong with the world.
So yesterday I'm scrolling along, procrastinating instead of working and I come across a tweet by this blacktivist complaining about black men finding her too...It doesn't matter what 'too' it was. She was letting it affect her mood. Then just like two tweets later, is this other tweet by this other girl saying something like 'sorry my vagina's too good for you.'
Such different reactions to the same issue; men's insecurities.
Two tweets later an announcement: Tamar Braxton is leaving music to 'protect' her marriage.
And it made me wonder what it was that made some women so needful of men's validation that they would 'hide their light under a bushel' to get it. While other women are so aware of their true worth that they understand immediately that if you want me to be less than I am, that's a 'your problem' thing, not mine.
Is it upbringing?
Is it the voices of society?
In my own case, I certainly remember my mother doing her thing - I'm gonna use that word - irregardless of anyone's opinion including my dad's. Irregardless is NOT a word people. It's not. Is that why I don't need the validation from a male to just go ahead and do my thing? Did society not whisper in my ear? I'm betting it did, I'm just not real good at listening to other people's opinions about what I 'should' do.
So what to do about you unfortunates who require that validation sometimes at the expense of your well-being?
Or let's turn that question around.
Why do men feel the need for women to make themselves small in order for them to feel tall? Who is teaching them this bullshit? Why are their egos so fragile? Is it a natural thing or can something be done to make them better humans - for their own sake?
I ask these questions knowing that I have a son and I don't want him to have to choose struggle women in order to 'feel like a man' or else make a great woman feel small so he can feel tall.
I'm thinking about John Legend who wants his wife to be great in every way.
I'm thinking about Jay-Z who even with his cheating ass never stopped his wife from reaching for the stars.
I'm thinking of Kanye West who builds up his women, leaves them better than he found them.
side note: can we let Kanye gain weight without endless comment if that's what he needs to be to get better? Please. Stop with the snarky posts. The man is smiling, leave him alone.
What makes these men different from Hussain al Mana, Marc Anthony and whatever Tamar Braxton's husband is called. Who feel the need to control their women in order to feel better about themselves. What is missing from y'all that makes you like this?
Today, as your internet mummy let me give you some advice.
Never listen to anyone who tells you that you need to change to be liked/valid. They are fucking with you because they can. Because they are unhappy and wish you to be unhappy too. You are valid the way that you are. The energy at which you vibrate is perfect for you and if you are true to yourself you will find someone who vibrates at the same energy levels as you. Or you won't. Either way, you won't die.
Stop looking outward for happiness when it is found within yourself and nowhere else.
Another random thought that hit me is that dancers who get together seem to have just the right spark to make it through this quagmire that is life. Is it that it's easier to find your vibrational level when you're dancing together? Maybe. Dances used to be a way to find a lifetime partner, didn't they? These days people don't dance.
Unless they're professionals.
Anyway, Harry Shum Jr. and Shelby Rabara, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are two examples of dancer couples who are relationship goals.
Maybe look into dancing. :)
Hmm, I think I'm gonna make my gay African couple dance. Gosh, I have the best ideas!

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