Friday, 29 April 2016

Becky With The Good Hair: An Adaptation

DISCLAIMER: The characters depicted in this story do not belong to me. They are real people who belong to themselves. I am not making any money from this story. It's written purely for enjoyment.

Beyonce glided into the breakfast room in her peach lingerie and rabbit slippers, stopping momentarily as she saw that Shawn was already there.
“Good morning honey in the sunshine”, he said without looking up from his iPad.
“Good morning my sun and stars”, she replied, her voice low and throaty like honey over oatmeal, “And how did you sleep?”
Shawn smiled, “Very well”, he said, “This new memory foam is the best idea you’ve ever had.”
Beyonce smiled, “Better than the weed inhalers?” she asked with a lift of one brow.
Shawn’s smile widened, “Okay, it’s in the top five good ideas. And you my honey in the sunshine? Did you sleep well?”
“No oga”, she replied with a sigh.
Shawn put his iPad aside, “Why?” he asked as he leaned forward, all his attention on her.
“I consulted the loa”, she said her voice low and heavy.
“You did? why?”
Beyonce gave him a look like he should absolutely know, “What was the last award I received?” she asked.
Shawn leaned back in his throne, nodding in understanding, “So? What did the loa tell you?”
“Well first thing, it has been a while since you offered libation. Do not forget to offer some honey rum and chocolate”, she said with an inclination of her head toward Papa Legba’s altar.

“I’ll do it right after breakfast.”
“You better, otherwise he might require blood sacrifice the next time you need something.”
“Okay but tell me what the loa told you that caused you to lose sleep.”
Beyonce sighed, “It’s about my next album”, she said reluctantly.
“Oh? What about it?”
“Something gonna have to happen before I can release it.”
“And what is that honey in the sunshine?”
“You go have to cheat on me oga”, she said.
“I beg pardon?”
“Yes. You have to cheat on me Shawn. Otherwise I won’t be able to make my next album.”

“But…Bee. The baby? What will she think if she find out later? What will everybody think?”
“Mschew! Oga you question the loa?” she demanded, half standing from her throne.
“No of course not. The loa is always right. But who will I cheat with?”
“Shawn I am very sure you have at least five hundred numbers in a little black book somewhere you can call.”
“Honey in the sunshine, I burnt that book the day you agreed to be mine.”
Beyonce let out a peal of laughter that echoed off the high ceilings. Her thin unlipsticked lips were stretched in a wide smile showing her small perfect white even teeth.
“You are funny my sun and stars. Dig out your black book. Pick a number.”
The smile disappeared from her face, and her expression was serious and uncompromising. Before Shawn could say anything else, the clear loud crystalline voice of their daughter rent the air, singing one of her favorite songs; whip my hurr.
Blue ran into the breakfast room and straight into her father’s arms.
“Hi daddy. Can we go to the zoo today?”

“Not today honey. Uncle Kanye and I are going to a boring boring meeting. After that, daddy will come get you from school and we can go get ice cream. How about that?”
Blue Ivy’s face fell, “Okay. Though auntie Gwyneth said ice cream is bad for you.”
Shawn and Beyonce exchanged glances and Shawn barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes, “Do you not want ice cream then?” he asked.
“No! I want ice cream.”
“Good. Then we’ll go get some. And we’ll keep it secret from Auntie Gwyneth.”
“Okay papa. Love you.”
“Love you too Code Blue.”
Beyonce lifted up the juice jug, condensation forming where it widened from the narrow mouth, “Lemonade anyone?” she asked.

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