Friday, 16 June 2017


This has been that week...
Where everyone I know seems to be having a problem or two with the men in their lives.
And coming to me, a single woman, for advice.

It made me have a lot of thinky thoughts as I am wont to do when trying to solve a problem. And I came to some conclusions which I'd like to share with you.

1. We are not all at the same stage of evolution.
You know how we interact with people and expect them to behave a certain way? Believe certain things automatically? Have a certain standard of intelligence?
Then we just absolutely cannot understand why it doesn't happen that way? Well let me tell you a story and then  we can draw a conclusion.
Yesterday I'm in the matatu going to work and I'm sitting at the seat nearest the door. Now the conductor tells a kid who is sitting on a seat to stand up so an adult can take the seat. He then proceeds to lift the kid and put him in my lap...

I didn't say a word but my face must have said it all because the driver turns around and laughs like 'he put a kid in your lap' har har de har...
I did not say anything because;
- Anyone at my stage of evolution would at least have asked if I minded having a random child dumped in my lap.
- I had just been thinking about how tired I was scrolling down twitter and seeing angry black women angry at stuff men do; I always felt like these men cannot understand you anyway, so who are you ranting to?
- and thirdly the realization in two above let me know that I was dealing with exactly that situation. Men who were at a lower stage of evolution than me (I estimate Cro-Magnon) and even if I complained, they wouldn't get it anyway.
- I didn't really mind the kid on my lap. It's just good manner to ask.
Well anyway, the point I am making is, ensure that you're dealing with someone at the same stage of evolution as you before you proceed to be angry at them for things their minds ain't prepared for.

As if to illustrate my point about different stages of evolution, someone just commented beneath a link to my fanfiction about how the picture illustrates 'homosexuality' which 'we' don't approve of. Anyone who hides behind the collective mind is somewhere around the homo whatever with the club above, so they are not ready to appreciate complex thought processes. But me, being the 'benefit of the doubt' type person, I asked, "We, who?"
What did I get in reply? The name of my story. It's like I'm speaking French and she's still learning the alphabet. We cannot communicate.
So why try?
So if you have a man, who is at a different point of evolution from you; you have two options.
1. Dump his ass and find someone with whom you can connect.
2. Accept your situation and don't complain.
Drink to That.

p.s. Wild Thoughts is out and so are my books.

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