Friday, 27 April 2018

When The Patriarchy Gets Personal

Today I took a personal hit to the solar plexus courtesy of Chris Brown and his effect on young boys. See, my son idolizes him for some reason, as do many young men of his age. I don't know why they idolize him, perhaps someone can tell me what the appeal is.
Is it the tattoos?
The dancing?
The songs that all sound alike?
Why him?
Why not Drake for example?
Or Migos?
Anyways, before I completely disappear down the rabbit hole, I have to tell you why I took a hit. As usual, my son was going on about the various ways that Chris Brown is the greatest human to ever live and wondering why he doesn't get on all the talk shows like Ellen 'n 'em. And I say, "Well son, because he's controversial."
And he's like but if Migos can go on Ellen why can't Chris Brown?
I'm sorry, I don't know Migos' history very well but I don't recall any stories of domestic violence or anger management or domestic violence or criminal convictions, stalker behavior, physical and emotional I leaving anything out?
Anyway, so my son dismissed all these things as irrelevant.
All the things Chris Brown did are irrelevant because well...Chris Brown.
And that's why I ask, why him? What's so special about him?
That's the point at which I began to get worried. I decided to reiterate in case I hadn't ever mentioned it, that domestic violence of any kind is not okay. There is no circumstance, no context, that makes it okay.

Just yesterday, was it? Someone was trying to dismiss Keli's claims of physical abuse by saying she fought back. That someone was on the internet. My son was right in front of me when he made the same argument. When he said, domestic violence is justifiable in some cases.
My heart is broken into a million pieces. I don't know what to do about this. This is how the patriarchy wins.
For years, I have known that people have Cro-Magnon ideas about women and relationships but I've just dissociated myself from anyone with those types of views or ignored them. But now it's right in my home and I don't know how it got here. But it's people like Chris Brown that make it okay. It's letting Donald Trump pass with all his misogyny and racism and ignorance.
It's enabling these people that teaches young boys that such behavior is not only acceptable, it is rewarded. And all the screaming in the world won't change that.

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