Saturday, 28 May 2016

Domestic Violence vs. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

My disclaimer for this post is that I have not personally been physically abused by any significant other that I know of. I have been mentally abused though; the thing with mental abuse is you might not realize it's going on until you move away from that person and realize that they were seriously depressing you. but I think if a man tried to put his hands on me, it just might be the last thing he did.
So I'm not an authority like, at all.

Yesterday, +Amber Heard filed for a restraining order because...wait for it; he's beating her. I have to admit my first reaction was; is she angling for a larger payday? Am I cynical or hwat? She had a picture too of herself, with injuries around her eye. Apparently +Johnny Depp threw a phone at her face. Seriously scary shit...
I'm not a fan of physicality. At all. But there's a difference between physical abuse and a fight. Sometimes fights get physical. Someone says something, someone else gets mad; something gets thrown in the heat of the moment. I remember one time? My sister was poking at me and poking at me about something - can't really remember what. I had a rake in my hand that I was tryna cut the grass with. The next thing I knew, the rake was slicing through her arm. It was crazy. I don't remember how it happened; I remember the shock afterwards. The horror. I've never really forgiven myself. My mother just looked at me like she was seeing inside my soul and then she told me if I wanted to cut the grass, then I should go cut the grass. All of it. Our compound was HUGE.

I don't know what happened with Johnny and Amber. Maybe Johnny is really a monster. But I feel like I've watched so many movies where someone sets up the other person especially when there is a lot of money on the line. So what if it went like this; Johnny's mother dies, and Amber comes in with provocative statements. He throws his phone. Visible injury ensues...
so demure..

I am suspending judgement on this one, I'm sorry. I know it's supposed to be solidarity forever with women but people are so shady these days; you can't really know. E!News is outraged. I'm like why don't we wait and see how it all pans out?
It's not just women though.
I love +milan christopher. I do. He's a very interesting and funny gay man. He's a bit of a drama queen. And he also released a picture of his eye, bruised apparently, by his ex boyfriend +Siir Brock (I can't tell you how long I had to think to remember that name). Now I'm not saying it never happened, or that it doesn't qualify as "Domestic Violence"...

I'm just saying that Milan had all the money and power. He threw Miles out for staying out late one night. It's kind of different from what +Rihanna went through for example. Maybe Miles landed a lucky punch and Milan didn't retaliate physically. It was still a fight to me, not a domestic violence incident.
But like I said; no personal experience of domestic violence.
Let me be a bit more controversial and say that nobody can beat your ass if you don't allow it. The kind of men/women who enjoy talking with fists are usually pretty cowardly. If you stand up to them, they fold like scared dogs. So if you stand up to them and say 'fuck off' they go. Grumbling. Calling you names..but they go. Personal experience with that one. The domestic violence dynamic is a co-dependent one. One person uses their fists on the other, and the other person allows it for whatever reason. I once knew a chick who felt like her man didn't love her if he didn't beat her. She'd be all, "Oh is there someone else?!?" if he didn't beat her ass regularly. Other people are like "Oh I stay for the kids", even though the kids are severely traumatised by seeing their mother bruised and bloodied on the reg'lar.
I stopped trying to understand that dynamic long ago.
So anyway, good luck to them.

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