Saturday, 2 June 2018

Happy Pride Month!

"I am a dirty computer.
I am not ready to be cleaned."
In fact, I am reveling in all this dirt; discovering new textures and tastes...the thing about being in your forties that they don't tell you is; you can set yourself free if you want. Free of the assumptions that society puts on you, the ones that you put on yourself without even realizing, the ones that insistence has made you accept...
All of these can be thrown out as you embark on a real journey of self-discovery, fuelled by Janelle Monae's music of course. Don't believe me? Just watch Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk
So, of course, I support everyone else's journey to find themselves and be proud of who they are. This month, it's the LGBTQIA community celebrating the choice to stand up and be counted. To say, "Here I am. Take me as I am or leave me alone. What you won't do, is change me."
Isn't it a glorious thing to be? Proud of who you are?
The narrative these days emphasizes so much all the things we have to be ashamed of. Our electoral choices (booo!), the way too much weight we carry around (bleh) the mental health challenges we grapple with daily (Kanye, here's looking at you kid) our struggle writing (whose?) that we sometimes forget how truly awesome we are.
Yes, even you.
Yes, you.
Yeah, I'm serious.
Don't feel bad if you're not quite there yet. It truly is about the journey, not the destination. Why just yesterday I discovered something so interesting about myself that I had no idea was even in me. It was so exciting to know this new thing about myself. It was like falling in love all over again. Yes, me with my big age, still discovering new things about myself.
Too often, we look to other people to tell us who to be; who we are allowed to be, how we're allowed to express who we are. We live in prisons largely of our own making when the truth is, living for other people never made anyone happy.
What is happy you ask?
Gabrielle Union was on Jada's red table talk last Monday and she said that her life coach asked her the same question. The only answers she could give at the time were food related. And goddamnit, food is allowed to make you happy but many times we turn to food for comfort. So technically it's not making us happy. It's just helping us forget that we're unhappy.
Although, gah, homemade french fries are the shit. You cannot be unhappy and eat homemade french fries at the same time.
What makes you happy?
I'll tell you what makes me happy. Creating stuff. Be it a blog post, a story, a graphic, my child...I am a sucker for creation. Watching true love makes me happy. That's why I love Supernatural so much. It's great to see people who truly love each other interact. And the bonus with Sam and Dean is that they are soulmates and the actors who play them are soulmates. It just makes me feel soft and content to know that true love exists.
I have a thing to say about soulmates. I think many people confuse being soulmates for being romantically in love and that's not true. Being soulmates is a thing where one soul recognizes and connects with another. Both souls have to be open to it, to let each other into the very core of who each other is.
My son is my soul mate. I see him. He sees me. He knows who I am beneath all the masks, even the ones I am unaware of. And I know who he is. This isn't a mind-reading thing. It's not something that can really be explained. But you'll know it when you find it.
In honor of pride month, I'm gonna be highlighting some books I have written and read that depict LGBTQIA people just living and loving like the rest of humanity. I think we get so caught up in categorizing that we forget that we're all the same. Who makes your privates stand up and pay attention is your business. Do you even know for sure who rocks your boat?
Are you sure?
I'm in the questioning phase of my life so all bets are now off. For Ben and Anders the question wasn't who rocks their boat, it was, am I gonna be brave enough to acknowledge it? For Miles, there was no question. Small town living made it impossible for him to do anything but hide.
Are you wondering who the fuck those are? Well, Ben and Anders are our heroes In Search of Paradise, and Miles is the best friend in the Child of Destiny series. And that's all I'm saying about that.

graphic lyrics from Janelle Monae's dirty computer album.

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