Friday, 5 January 2018

Do You Experience God?

I'm sick again. Same illness, different month.
It is going to be okay though because this time I haven't spent so much as a day ignoring it. I'm broke as fuck what with holidaying, Christmas, the New Year and Chris going back to school all in a span of like two weeks...
It's hectic, it's expensive.
So I am on hand to mouth budget when I wake up with that tickling in my throat, that stabbing in my chest.
Reality Check me said, "Oh no, Annemarie. You're sick again."
Shock Absorber me speaks up and sez, "It's prolly just a  cold. Throat infection; something you can ignore."
Those stabbing pains in my chest said, "Ignore me at your peril."
Meanwhile, Perpetually Persecuted me is going like, "Why why why why!! Is it because I wouldn't be admitted to hospital last time? Did I bring this on myself? Hell, I still can't afford to be admitted to hospital (see above). Also still not sure it's necessary."
Anyway, so I had my breakfast and counted my coins, crossed my fingers that I had enough and took myself to the local dispensary. The doctor confirmed to me that yes indeed, your pneumonia is back. He didn't recommend for me to be admitted though, just gave me a whole bunch of drugs.
I couldn't afford entire doses so I took half and promised to be back for the other half 'real soon'.
p.s. I had no clue where I was going to get this other money in time but I just figured I'd manage.
So I barely get home, turn on my computer and purport to prepare myself to do some work when my cousin calls. He asks me how I am and I tell him exactly how I am. Sick as a dog.
Now I know intellectually that pneumonia is serious. But when it's in your body and you're managing it and you're not debilitated, it doesn't feel so life-threatening. But my cousin reacted like I'd told him I was dying.
(Yes yes, I know, pneumonia can kill you).
Anyway, he asks me if I'm taking medicine and I say yes I am and he asks me if I have everything I need and I say I am actually a bit short so I do not have full doses of everything. And he just says 'How much do you need?"
And that people is how I experience God.
He comes to me when I'm backed into a corner with no clue how to proceed. He sends an angel disguised as a friend, acquaintance or stranger to say, "Hey, did you need some help?"
Well, I'm trying not to tax myself so Imma stop here. Did I tell you January is free book month? I know y'all are broke too.

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