Tuesday, 10 October 2017

Heroes and Villains

Hey, it's hangover Tuesday no? The day after...not that I partied. My cramps put a cramp on that plan.
Pun intended.
And when I say party I mean go watch a movie. That's what we introverts do when we go wild - go to the movies...by ourselves. It's lit.
Frankly, I don't like to watch movies with a theatre full of pedestrians. Y'all are always chewing too loud, someone's phone will ring, someone else wants to pass back and forth every two minutes....Or someone's shouting at the screen. So uncivilized.

But if you go like in the middle of the week, in the afternoon when it's not a holiday, you can actually watch a movie in peace because they're like five guys in the whole theatre.
Speaking of empty theatres...
You remember when I said I'd make Ben and Anders dance? Well, the way the writing was set up, there was really no opportunity for gratuitous dancing. But I'm thinking I know where I can put it...and maybe even some movie theatre making out.
Yep. There could be one more revision.
I know I've given out some copies for review...I guess this doesn't make a huge difference to the verdict...right? Feel free to leave a comment if you think it will and you have a review copy.
I did treat myself to lunch. I went to this place where I'd once seen sangria on the menu. Thought I'd have some and toast to another year on this planet.
Well, guess what?
They didn't have any.

Luckily for me, I was having one of those days where nothing was going to bring me down. Not my cramps, not them not having sangria or how behind I was with work...I chose to be happy. Even bought a yellow belt to prove it. It went so well with my blue dress I can't even tell you. When I was going to catch the bus home, the conductor was like 'law school this way'. Like he thought I was a college student. What's not to be happy about?
Speaking of heroes and villains (were we?) I want to touch on this Harvey Weinstein situation. In my quest to be happy, I've been avoiding activist twitter because they also seem to be everything is wrong with the world twitter. But Harvey's been everywhere, and suddenly everyone has a sexual harassment story; not just to do with Harvey but with lesser Harveys in the entertainment biz.
Now, as someone who has seriously lived sexual harassment since I was eleven years old and my boobies started to grow, I must say that I am not impressed.
I'm not impressed with women who kept quiet about their sexual harassment because they 'didn't want to lose their jobs.'
I am not impressed with people who turned a blind eye for years suddenly being all 'shocked and horrified' by Harvey Weinstein.
In fact, the person I am most impressed by is Harvey himself who just basically gave a non-apology and continued living life until someone said they were going to fire him. Because you know what? He's not the devil. He's not the evil Harvey Weinstein.
It's just that this time, it was him who was caught.

And so everyone does what they do, they turn on him. They point fingers. They act like they haven't been complicit in his behavior for years.
Whatever your reasons, whatever you thought you would get out of it the fact is that you probably watched, laughed, said, "that Harvey, what a pistol!" slapped each other on the back and life went on. And if he touched you inappropriately, for sure you let him. No one is making rape allegations after all. But now that it's news, it's a whole different ballgame.
"I am shocked and saddened."
No, you aren't. You're covering your ass.
It's a culture and it permeates every society. But then when a spotlight gets shone on one person suddenly everyone's acting brand new.

I remember once when I actually was a college student, I was out with these three guys at the club, one of whom was my boyfriend. So this random dude kept passing by my chair and touching me inappropriately. I didn't know what to do about it so I told my boyfriend. He went and whispered something in the guy's ear and the guy apologized.
To him.
The whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth. I felt diminished to an object. An object that belonged to a guy and therefore if someone else touches it, he needs to apologize to the owner of the object. I think if that happened now, I'd just punch that guy in the stomach real hard and call it a day. And if he wants to take it outside, hell, let's take it outside.
I'm seriously crazy these days.
Motherhood will do that to ya.

Harvey Weinstein was on Entourage, you remember? He offered to buy Medellin from Vincent Chase and the boys when it bombed. That's the image I have of him in my head. And for sure with the benefit of distance, and through the lens of Entourage, you can see how sexist Hollywood is for sure. David Schwimmer as himself wanting the female agent from Ari Gold's firm to go to lunch with him because 'he wanted to fuck her.' I don't know if she would have had to fuck him but I do know that she threatened to sue Ari's firm for sexual harassment if they fired her for having an affair with her boss. And they backed down.

Where are the sexual harassment lawsuits filed against Harvey? Nobody? Okay then.
I'm not saying what Harvey did was right. Hell to the no. But these are the men we raise. We raise them to see us as objects, as commodities and then turn around and cry victim when they treat us as such.
I'm talking to you mothers. When you talk down about the girls your sons bring home. Commodify them, then you teach your sons that a woman is good for nothing but 'mothering' him. If she can't cook for him, clean up after him, she's useless. When fathers high five their sons for having more than one girlfriend. Encourage them to 'sow their wild oats', talk about 'wife material' you are commodifying women. You are saying, if they do not possess these things, they're only good for...what? To be used. As objects.
We are all complicit.
and unless we start having different conversations then let's stop talking about 'shocked and saddened.'

An example; my son was telling me about this 'socialite' on Instagram 'everyone' follows. She had 50k followers and apparently because of that, the consensus among him and his friends was that she was a slut. That she slept her way to 50k followers.
So at this stage, truthfully, if this was your kid who said this what would you do?
Let me make some predictions: the "Christians" among you would have said that your kid should stay away from her or pray for her or some combination of the same nonsense. yes?
Pretty sure some so-called fathers would have asked for her IG @ so they could follow her and slide in her DMs.
(she's 17 by the way).
Others would have just dismissed the story right?
Well, and I am not trying to say I'm the paragon of virtue here, but I am.
I asked him to put himself in her shoes. I don't know this girl but I've been bullied. And what these boys are doing is bullying. So this girl goes to school right? She's in boarding school. but somehow in the short time that holidays are, she has found time to sleep with 50k people? These boys who say she's a slut, do any of them know her personally? Tell me, Chris, I said, what if it was you being called names because you'd achieved something others can't? And people called you names for it? People who don't know you? Don't know your life? All they see are pretty pictures and decide things about you from those pics. Would you like it?

Now my son is a soft-hearted lil' puppy beneath that cold exterior and I could see that he was sorry about the whole thing. But he's just one and for sure he might be the only one I personally can save. But at least I can make sure the girls he comes across are treated like human beings instead of objects.
Ugh, enough pontificating.
Book Launch for Charity is still live!

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