Paradigm Shift

Hello, and how are you this fine day? Did you wash your face this morning? Have breakfast? Self-care is important. You can't take care of anything else if you don't take care of yourself.
I'm okay. Working hard on my ghostwriting. I have two books I'm writing right now; both historical romances; one English, one Scottish. Have you ever done too much research on a subject? Both clients have asked me to cool it with the period specific language.
One editor said to me 'you're doing too much brown' on your cant.

And if you don't know what that means, that was exactly the editor's point. My language was too specific to that time and readers might not understand what I'm saying.
Which is fine.
The thing that sticks in my craw is that the job posts they put out specifically asked for someone who was proficient in writing about the period in the proper language.
I wasn't.
But I learned...
And now it's too much.
Well, I've adjusted, grudgingly. It's easier for me to write in modern English, but I also feel like 'damn girl, what a waste of effort.'
Adaptability.
It's been occurring to me lately how different expectations versus reality is. Society is a different place than it was when I was growing up, but we still have the same expectations. We still expect to live the same way our parents did.
But we just won't.
That life is gone.

I read this fanfic where Alec Lightwood was just realizing that just because he was an adult now, does not mean that he has all the answers. And he said to one of his siblings: "I thought I'd have this shit figured out by now."
And I stood up and clapped because seriously, I need that emblazoned on my gravestone.
Well...
Not my gravestone because please don't bury me; I'm claustrophobic. Burn my body and scatter me to the four winds. It's probably the only way I'll really get to travel. But you get what I'm saying right? It's my life philosophy.
"I thought I'd have this shit figured out by now."
I haven't and I probably never will. Acknowledging that is surprisingly both freeing and comforting. I can stop expecting myself to reach some level of nirvana when it probably won't happen. I'm not Jada Pinkett Smith. I can get on with the business of living - the struggle, the joy in little things, the love of my family, my writing. Joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, problem solving and tiny achievements. Living in the moment.
That's all.
Speaking of tiny achievements, guess what's coming your way next...